Alleged sexual assault victim speaks out

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EDITOR’S NOTE: It is CM LIFE’s policy not to divulge the names of victims of any alleged or realized sexual assaults. In this case, however, the alleged victim adamantly requested that her name be used in the following article. *John denotes an alias used in place of identifying the alleged suspect.
Sara Jones says she is an average person.
She is majoring in psychology, earning a minor in athletic coaching, enjoys downhill skiing, coaches swimming, is a resident assistant, likes to watch movies and is working to improve her grades.
“I’m an average person with high hopes and dreams,” the Livonia junior said.
Sara also alleges that she is a victim of rape.
“I’m the typical type of person here (at CMU),” she said, “nothing bad happens to me, and it did.”
Sara said it is very important to her that people understand why she is willing to make her name public.
“I want it to be apparent that I wanted my name to be used because of the fact that I am a normal person and (rape) is something that happens on a daily basis and nothing ever comes from it.”
She said she hopes that putting a name to the story will help to personalize her experience and make people aware that rape – specifically acquaintance rape – happens to a number of women every day, even “normal, average” women like Sara.
Sara said she also wanted to make her story public because she wants to give light to the practice of placing the burden of proof in the alleged victim’s hands.
“We need to concentrate more on believing what the woman says,” she said.
“I want people to be cautious, I want people to stand up for themselves and not sit back and say, ‘oh, this is a male-dominated society’ and do nothing.”
Sara said she hopes her experience reaches those “females who have had this happen, who want to let this out and not keep this secret inside of them.
“Hopefully I can find men and women to unite with me and start a cause,” she said. “I hope to find people who feel like I do, that it’s worth something to stand up and fight.”
The beginning
On Jan. 11, Sara said she met two men while cashing a check at the Bovee University Center.
In written documentation Sara wrote after she alleges she was raped, she said, “At one point in time one of (the men) asked me what year I was. I turned around and replied, ‘A junior.’ That was the extent of that day.”
On Jan. 13, Sara went to the bookstore in the UC and saw one of the men she had met two days before. She said they exchanged smiles and nods of recognition. As she was exiting from the UC, Sara said the man called after her.
“It was one of the men from the bank. We introduced ourselves.”
After talking for a moment, Sara said *John asked her where she was headed to. When she told him she was going back to her dorm he asked if he could drop her off.
“I said it would be all right. Meanwhile, we still talked about this and that,” she wrote.
Sara said John pulled up to her residence and parked the car.
“We continued to talk about a lot of stuff. I thought he was very flattering, and because of my disbelief in men I didn’t know whether or not to believe his sincerity.
“I told him about my life, I told him how I was still a virgin, I told him about my resident assistant job and I told him what my plans were for the future,” she wrote.
Sara said when John asked her why she was still a virgin, she said she told him “I have not found the right man and because I wasn’t emotionally or mentally ready for it.”
Sara said John told her information about himself as well, including that he had gone to CMU as an undergraduate and was at another university earning his master’s. John also told her he is in the U.S. Air Force.
“Then John asked me if I would like to run up to (Meijer Inc.) with him while he went to get some stuff for the kids of a family that he (was) watching for the past couple days.”
When they got back to Sara’s residence, she said John came up to her room to talk before she headed to the cafeteria.
“We exchanged phone numbers, e-mail addresses and a hug before he left at approximately 5 p.m.”
Sara said she returned from dinner to “find a message on our voice mail with his number.”
She called John and he asked if “we could get together that night and if I could spend the night.”
After calling her residence hall director to see if she could have the night out, Sara said she called John back and “said yes.”
Gathering up movies to take to where John was staying, Sara said he waited for his friend to come and pick her up and take her there.
Once there, Sara said, “All three of us sat down and watched ‘Liar, Liar’. (His friend) left and John and I put in ‘Ever After’.
“We didn’t get very far into the movie because we were both tired and decided to go to bed. At this point all we had done sexually was hug, hold hands and one small kiss.”
The alleged third-degree sexual
assault, which involves penetration
According to the statement Sara wrote, she and John went upstairs after watching some of the movie. John changed into his pajamas while she lay on the bed.
“He then proceeded to check his e-mail on the computer. When he was done I asked him to help me undress and get into my pajamas. We started kissing and touching. Soon his clothes were off. We started kissing and touching and rubbing our bodies up against each other,” she wrote.
“Soon he was lying on top of me. Suddenly I realized what he was interested in. He put his penis in my vagina knowing that I didn’t want to have sex and that I had never had sex at this point.
“I told him to stop. I tried pushing him off of me,” she wrote. “Finally, he got off.”
Sara said John then told her that “I had to deal with my fears sooner than later. He told me that this was never his intention from the beginning, but my beauty compelled him. I put my clothes back on while he went to check on the baby in the other room that was crying.”
She wrote, “I was shocked. I was in disbelief. Had this really happened? Am I no longer a virgin, even if he only put it in for like 20 seconds – which also seemed like an eternity – ? Oh my gosh, I can’t believe this happened. I kept thinking how I wanted to go home, but I had no car to get me there.”
Sara said John came back later and proceeded to touch and kiss her.
“I think I had so many emotions flowing through my body at this point that I didn’t even think about what I should do next,” she wrote.
Sara said John started to try to untie her pajama bottoms.
“He reassured me that we wouldn’t do it again,” she said.
Sara said John told her that “now that my fears about it are gone we could try again later.”
She said he also told her “it was just between him and I. That it was ‘our moment (and) we didn’t need to talk to anyone else about it.’”
Sara said a few minutes later John “proceeded to interject his penis into my vagina again. Being caught by surprise I said, ‘no,’ and pushed him off. I told him how I felt dirty, used and wanted to go home.”
Sara said she gathered the courage necessary to get out of bed and told John he was not going to stop her. She said she was going to call her roommate to come and get her, but John “begged and pleaded for me to just use his car.
“I could tell at this point that I really didn’t have much control over anything at all. I took his car and drove home. I arrived home in my bed at around 2 a.m.,” she wrote.
Sara said that when she woke up on Jan. 14 and prepared for a job interview, she heard a knock at the door.
“I didn’t think anything about who it might be due to the fact that (as an RA) I always have someone knocking on my door asking for some kind of help.”
Sara said John was at her door and needed the keys to the car to get a garage-door opener out of it. He gave her back the keys and told her to drive back over to his house after her interview and she did.
Sara said John drove her back to her residence and then called her periodically throughout the day. She called him later that evening to tell John how she felt.
“I told him I was not happy about what had happened the night prior. I told him how I felt and that I am mad at him for putting me in that position,” she wrote.
“John did apologize as well as reminding me that we are meant to be, that I have to chase my fears about sex away sometime and that he simply meant it in the best way. He also seemed worried about how many people I had talked to about it all. I told him at this point it was not an issue.”
The alleged fourth-degree assault,
which does not include penetration
On Jan. 15 Sara said she had a busy day, filled with hall council activities and other events. John called at 12:30 a.m. that night “to talk,” Sara said.
“I sat downstairs (in my residence hall) waiting for him to show up,” she wrote.
“As I sat there I thought, ‘Why was I there in the first place? What was I going to gain over him coming over? I knew that I never wanted anything more to do with him, so why did I permit him to come over?’ Slowly I realized that I never had any control in the first place because of John’s smooth talking. Whatever happened to my assertiveness?” she wrote.
Sara said John came over and for a long time she did all of the talking. She told him she never wanted to see him again.
“With all of this new assertiveness I thought I had gained, I really didn’t have any at all.”
Sara said John “sweet-talked” her, “pleaded” with her and “reminded me of just how much he cares for me,” as they sat together in her dorm room.
After telling him that if he really cared about her, he wouldn’t have done what he did, Sara said she “lay there for a few moments while he had the pleasure of getting off using my body on the opposite end.”
Sara said she told him to leave – remembering how she had told him she didn’t want to see him ever again earlier – and he did.
Sara said John contacted her on Jan. 16 via e-mail and a few phone calls, and again on Jan. 17 in a surprise visit to her room. Also present, Sara said, were her roommate and her roommate’s father. John left shortly afterward and Sara said she “noticed that as soon as he walked in my room he was shocked and nervous to see another grown man sitting in the living room.”
Sara said she wrote down a chronology of the events that had transpired before reporting it to the police because she was trying to decide whether or not anyone would believe her.
“I wanted to try to figure out if anyone would believe that I had a case to press charges.”
Reporting the alleged incidents
On Jan. 27, around 12 a.m., Sara said she, her mom, her residence hall director and CMU Police Officer Les Rosan met and Sara reported the alleged Jan. 13 rape and the Jan. 15 incident. When Rosan learned that the first incident had occurred off campus, Mount Pleasant Police Officer Donald Sytsema was called in.
Sara said after she recounted the events, Rosan said, “‘I just want you to know that there is a likelihood, without physical evidence and because you waited so long to report it, that probably nothing will happen.’”
“I didn’t say nothing will happen,” Rosan said. “I almost got the impression that they expected immediate results and I just didn’t want them to think that it was going to happen that fast.”
Rosan said he wanted to make it understood that it would be difficult in the investigation to obtain physical evidence because the alleged incident happened nearly two weeks before and also the alleged suspect resides out-of-state.
Sara said Rosan’s response bewilders her.
“Why tell us to even press charges if nothing is going to happen with it?” she said. “Is there any evidence that it didn’t happen?”
Sara said she feels like she has not been given any direction, except for a card with her case number and a phone number to contact about information regarding the investigation.
“I don’t understand why I have to be the one who keeps calling and asking how things are going (with the investigation). It’s hard enough just to get through the day.”
Sara said she contacted both CMU Police and MPPD on Friday to find out where the investigation was at and was told by the MPPD that she needed to call the Isabella County Prosecutor’s Office. When she did, Sara said she was told they had no information and was instructed to call MPPD. Sara said Sytsema attempted to contact her later Friday afternoon, but she was out of town.
Sara said she contacted CMU Police and Det. Jeff Pickler was unavailable to talk to her. He later returned her call and told her that John was being contacted and Pickler was working to get a law-enforcement agency in Nebraska, where John attends school, to assist in the investigation.
Pickler could not be reached for comment.
Prior to contacting CMU Police and MPPD Friday, Sara said, “It’d be nice to get a call. I’ve never done this before, I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing.”
Sara said police officers have told her to “give me a call if you need anything at all, but half the time the female won’t do that. It’s too hard right now.”
Taking it day by day
Regardless of where the investigation is at, Sara said she is trying to deal with life on a day-by-day basis.
“I never imagined this would happen to me,” she said.
“Right now, from where I’m standing, I think it’s bullshit that everyone says you should stand up for yourself and press charges. How many are actually ever prosecuted?”
Sara said her mother, RHD, a CMU counselor and a select circle of friends have been very supportive, but others have not.
“People think, ‘You’re smart enough not to let this happen.’”
Sara said she has been asked whether or not a condom was used, a question that floors her.
“I wasn’t planning on having sex. Why would I bring a condom? I like an orgasm like the next girl, but I’m not having sex until I find the right person, not until I am emotionally and mentally ready.”
When asked why she wanted to tell her story to the public, Sara said, “I think its going to help me get through this and move on. It’s already helped some who have kept a secret like this and felt shame in this,” referring to friends who, after learning of Sara’s experience, shared their own, similar stories.
Sara said she feels some shame over her experience because people perceive rape to be a violent ordeal perpetrated by a stranger jumping out of the dark.
“I wasn’t in an alley-way. Mine wasn’t as terrible as other people’s, but it still happened to me.”
Sara compared talking about the alleged rape to talking about stopping to help someone who has car trouble. If the person was faking it and, instead, beat up and robbed the individual who stopped to help, Sara said she would not be afraid to tell people.
“I wouldn’t be hesitant, embarrassed and ashamed to say, ‘This happened to me,’ like I am now. Society makes it look like it was my fault and I have to be shameful.”
Right now, Sara said she hesitates when referring to herself as a victim or survivor.
“Victim sounds too harsh,” she said. “Survivor? I’m not there yet.
“It’s hard to be around strangers,” Sara said, but because the alleged suspect attends an out-of-state university, she doesn’t have a problem with the “immediate outside world.”
Still, she said, “It’s hard to get up and go each day.
“I didn’t put myself in this position because I wanted attention or I deserved this. I feel sorry for the people who can’t recognize this,” she said.
“I said, ‘no’ and that makes me a victim of rape.”
The incidents remain under investigation.