Nothing new at Grammys

The Grammy’s suck. Ask anyone who pays a minute’s worth of attention to music, and you are likely to receive the snide remark as your answer.
For years the music industry has honored a collection of dated and overrated musicians with these worthless trophy’s and a four hour long show jam packed with sappy acceptance speeches (“First I want to thank God for blessing me with such a wonderful talent… sniffle sniffle”) and boring performances by other boring and overrated performers.
The Grammy Award ceremony, as well as the awards themselves, has proven in the past to be a long and drawn out celeb-fest, that people tune into more for fashion than for actual musical content. This year will be no different, as it is expected, Mariah Carey will show up in some disgustingly short outfit, and Madonna will look completely different than the year before. The awards become less and less about music, and more and more about Prada and Gucci.
If there is any hope for a break in this trend, it lies in the hands of electronica pioneer Moby, who on a recent edition of the “Daily Show,” warned Grammy viewers and attendees that he may show up in a giant onion costume – you can bet that my fingers are crossed.
As far as the music is concerned, it always seems like the recording industry, when it comes to picking the actual nominees, lacks in being up to date and “hip” to what is great about music that year. Last year, maybe one of the only surprises came by way of Lauryn Hill capturing 5 awards.
But, this year is a bit different. Pop music has been redefined, and the kids have something to say about it. With the onslaught of teenie-pop bubble gum chewers Britney Spears, and the Backstreet Boys, along with the recent mainstream inclusion of rap-metal hybrids Limp Bizkit and Korn, will the Grammy’s go down the path of artistic originality, or album sales as an indicator of pop greatness?
If I was nominated for a pop award this year I would be thanking my lucky stars that “Bye Bye Bye” by N’Sync is not nominated this year due to timeliness. Backstreet, back that ass up! N’Sync is back, and they are pissed!
It will be interesting to see how things work out for these teen heroes. Because really kids, they will all be gone in two years, and nobody will care, right? Right?
If you look at the nominees for best rap, hip-hop, and R&B, you will find the likes of Dr. Dre, Eminem, the Roots, Busta Rhymes, TLC, and Mary J. Blige, who all put out phenomenal records last year. All of these performers are notorious in the media for being unpredictable, and hopefully will do something out of the ordinary to keep viewers glued to their screens.
I mean, can you imagine Eminem or Kid Rock, in all their white trash pimped out glory, coming up and accepting an award from Ray Romano? Oh, wait, Will Smith is nominated, so forget about that ever happening.
And let us not forget about the performances! This year, the stage will see the likes of the Backstreet Boys with Elton John, Britney Spears (a personal favorite), and everyone’s favorite goofball Will Smith. I personally can’t wait to see, with what may be the first midget to ever perform at the Grammy’s, Kid Rock’s performance. I doubt it will be enough to save us from performance hell, as Ricky Martin is likely to steal any hope for the future of music. Damn him.
So, what will happen at the 42nd Grammy Awards? Well, if my predications are correct, the name you’ll be hearing more than anyone else is that washed up, uninventive, cash-in guitar god Santana. Look for unnecessary folding of hands in a prayer like fashion, and fat Rob Thomas to be grinning like a little girl.