Don’t get your sibs drunk this weekend, it’s just a bad idea altogether.
It may sound like a good idea – you know, give them a real taste of college, but nothing but trouble can come from it.
I am still scarred from my experience at little sibs weekend. My brother thought it would be a good idea to take me to a party and get me wasted. It sounded like a good idea to me too, after all that’s what you’re supposed to do in college, right?
Well thanks to the fateful evening, I haven’t had a drink since, ever.
I was 13 and visiting my older brother at school (I’ll leave the name out to protect State’s rep) during sib’s weekend. I got up there and I swear five minutes later I had a Pabst Blue Ribbon in my hand.
The rest of the evening was very hazy, but from what I was told I did a bitchin’ rendition of “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go,” by Wham at a house party (which I still do an amazing rendition of, sober, mind you). I hit on every girl in the place, got slapped around by a few girls and started a fight with one guy eight times my size.
Then there was the walk home. Apparently I almost got hit by several cars, almost fell in the mighty Cedar River and was found puking at Sparty’s feet. I’m almost proud of that last one, but that’s not the point. The point is that I didn’t remember any of that and wanted to die the next day.
Sounds like harmless 13-year-old drunken antics in a college setting right? Well at the end of the evening things weren’t so harmless. I vomited for what seemed likes days and still to this day around that time of year, I can taste the vomit.
My brother was an ass and still is. That’s why he got me drunk. Honestly, what’s cool about taking your little brother to a huge party when he looks, well, 13? My brother said it was funny and I looked dumb.
Last time I checked, that’s just plain mean. I mean that tattoo I got that night is permanent (OK, so I made up the tattoo part, but that could happen).
Just think of how disappointed your parents would be in you if they found out what you were doing during the wholesome sibs weekend.
Well that’s probably not a good argument, but think of how you will scar your sib for life and the possibility of turning him or her into an alcoholic.
No one’s first drinking experience should be at the college level. That’s like taking a 6-year-old and instead of letting him play T-ball, putting him in the fast-pitch league. Sooner or later that 6-year-old is going to get hit by a pitch. You don’t want to be throwing at your sib’s head do you?
I’m the last person in the world who should talk about being responsible, but if I can save just one little sib from a weekend of drunken hell, I’ll feel better. I know responsibility is the worst, but every once and a while you have to do it.
Instead of getting your sib trashed this weekend, take them to one of the events that have been planned for the weekend and I bet they’ll have a blast. A pancake breakfast may not sound that cool, but hey, maybe if your little sib is cute enough (and the women really seem to dig guys with kids) you could score a hot individual’s number.
And if you really want them to have that cool feeling when they drink, buy them a 40 of IBC and wrap it in a paper bag. Be careful with those too though, cut them off after two ’cause no one wants a sib vomiting from too much root beer, that may be worse than too much alcohol.
Trust me I know my root beer and if I can only handle two, your sib may have a tough time with one.

E-mail the author: Andrew MooreLIFE Et Cetera Editor