Do ‘Whatever It Takes’ to avoid this movie

• Tweet
• 

“Whatever It Takes”

* out of five

Imagine: “She’s All That,” “Drive Me Crazy,” “Ten Things I Hate About You,” “Down To You,” “American Pie,” “Porky’s” “It’s A Wonderful Life” and “Roxanne” with an accordion.

Rated PG-13 for not having enough guts to include a quality girls locker room scene.

“Whatever It Takes” does whatever it takes to blatantly steal every quality aspect from every film ever made in its genre to make yet another terrible teen flick.
Now granted, teen flicks are known to borrow from their predecessors on occasion a scene or two and often times giving credit where credit is due by naming the film from which they are borrowing. “Whatever It Takes” makes no attempt whatesoever to even acknowledge their lack of originality, instead they poorly try to pass it off as something new and different.
A modern day Cyrano DeBegerac tale set in Southern California at a high school that is run by rich kids is where the story (if you want to call it a story) begins. Ashley Grant (Jodi Lyn O’Keefe) is the hottest and most popular girl at Gilmore High. O’Keefe takes time out to stretch in role by playing a bitchy, spoiled rich girl unlike her role as Taylor Vaughn in “She’s All That.”
Ryan Woodman (Shane West), son of the school nurse (who likes to put condoms on giant penises during school assemblies) has the hots for Ashley but knows he doesn’t have a chance due to his lack of coolness. His best friend/ neighbor Maggie (who is way hotter than Ashley) tells him to give it up.
Instead Ryan strikes up a deal with Ashley’s cousin Chris (James Franco). The deal is an even trade, Chris will help Ryan get Ashley and Ryan will help Chris win Maggie’s heart. This is where the DeBergerac story begins.
Chris, who looks a lot like porn star, David from MTV’s “Real World,” knows nothing about love, he’s only knows how to score with the rich chicks and has no wooing skills whatsoever. Ryan quickly learns that Ashley is nothing but another pretty face and realizes that he is in love with Maggie.
Ryan also deduces that Chris is only interested in Maggie for one reason, a quick lay. So in a feeble attempt to win Maggie’s heart, Ryan gets up on the stage during prom with his accordian while playing, “Melt With You,” by Modern English.
“Whatever It Takes,” is just another teen movie packed with a no star cast and ill-faded hijinks. The prom, which normally is the highlight of all teen flicks doesn’t even deliver. There are no synchronized dance scenes, revenge, Mr. Hand, The Donnas, urination or just plain sex. Instead, the dance floor opens up “It’s A Wonderful Life” style causing all the prom-goers to fall in the pool beneath. Lame.
Do “Whatever It Takes” to avoid this film, even after it’s on video. There a lot better things you can do with an hour and a half.
Say no to drugs.