I really, really hate real TV

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Reality TV has flooded the airwaves in the past few years, almost unmercifully. Recently, it seems as though we are plagued with a new “reality” show on an almost weekly basis. Some of these sputter and die quickly. Others, “Survivor” of course being the most notable example, seem to take a firm grip on America’s interests and attention spans and are showing no signs of letting up.
It all started with MTV and a little show called, “The Real World.”
“Seven strangers, picked to live in a house, and have their lives taped, to find out what happens when people stop being polite, and starting getting real. And whine and cry incessantly about non-issues and call one another racists at least five times a day, all while living in a huge house that they don’t have to pay for.”
OK, so I added that last part, but it might as well be in the intro, because it’s true.
The “Real World” has been going strong for ten seasons. It’s had it’s highs (the Hawaii and London casts) and it’s lows (the Boston cast). Not to mention the lowest of the low, the Miami cast (what were they thinking when they made them start a business? Bor-ing). Despite what mindless drivel seems to come out of the mouths of these characters (cause they aren’t really, “real” people), the youth of America hangs on with interest and in anticipation.
I myself have been a victim countless times of the “Real World” marathons. Though I hate MTV, I’ve found myself on more than one occasion getting sucked into watching hours of reruns of the “Real World.” Afterward, I feel guilty and often realize, “There’s four and a half hours of my life that I’ll never get back.” The thing is though, I know I’ll do it again.
That’s the thing about reality shows; they’re really, really addictive. No matter how bad they are, people will watch (with the exception of “Big Brother”).
Take the current “Real World”, based in New Orleans. They aren’t very good. Julie, the Mormon, cries at least once an episode. On top of that, her wide-eyed innocence routine (“Oh my God, a ‘Glamour’ magazine, I’ve never seen one of these before. I’m just taking it one day at a time.”) got real old, real fast. David has really scary muscles and sings really cheesy songs. The cast is boring, yet, millions of people continue to tune in every week.
MTV’s “Road Rules,” partner in crime to “Real World,” is in it’s ninth season and has spawned many other intelligence-robbing shows, including “Road Rules: All Stars” and so on. “Survivor” is the obvious champion of reality TV, as it dominated water cooler conversations and morning radio talk topics the entire summer. I can’t say anything about the show because I didn’t watch it, but I still know way more about it than I want to. Hell, Et cetera is even doing its own “Survivor” special. This show will not go away.
“Big Brother” is one of the few out-right failures. After weeks of less than stellar ratings, the producers are at their wits-end (if the commercials are any indication). They seem to be pulling out all stops to get people to tune in to the show, this week they are promising to replace one of the cast members with a string-bikini wearing, self-proclaimed “bitch.”
As networks promise a whole new slew of reality shows this fall, some sounding completely devoid of any morals (think; “Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?), the issue remains that these reality shows are not real.
No one acts real when they have a camera pointed at them, day in and day out, with the knowledge that millions of people will watch them and analyze what they say. The people chosen for these shows, “Real World” especially, do not represent real people. I could count on one hand the number of people who have been on that show that had higher than 10 percent body fat.
Also, it’s obvious that they pick certain personality types to fill every season (the sensitive one, the bitchy one, the alcoholic part-animal). They also never have more than one or two minorities per cast. Plus, the people who live in that house don’t have to pay for it. It is not the real world. In fact, it’s the very, very fake world.
I would love to see a real “Real World.” In fact, my friends and I enjoy taping our own “Real World.” Our “crew” of four goes out onto the streets and tapes people here at CMU. Real people. People who say stupid things that won’t be edited out later. People who don’t try to create drama or issues to cry about. People who all look real and act like themselves. It’s fun and very funny. I encourage others to try it.
This whole thing reminds me of a “Saturday Night Live” skit in which they mocked the “Real World.” It was scarily dead-on. The cast called each other racists and argued dramatically about nothing. The best part though, was the disclaimer at the beginning. It warned of the reality of what the viewer was about to watch and used the word “real” at least a dozen and a half times. Much like I have in this column.
Real people. Reality. Real situations. Really, really real. Real.