‘Get Carter’ lucky to get one star

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Sometimes
a good film can be buried by bad hype, bad reviews and bad box office.
“Get Carter” is not one of those films. Sylvester Stallone can add another
gem to his long list of cinematic debacles, which include, “Daylight,”
“Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot,” and, my personal favorite, “Judge Dredd.”

If you have trouble remembering any of those films, don’t worry, you’re
not alone. For as well as being really bad, Stallone is notorious for
making movies that are extremely forgettable. “Get Carter” is also an
addition to that list. So much, in fact, that just hours after seeing
it, I could barely recall single scene from it. We’ve all been to those
films, those films which drift from our memory as soon as we leave the
theater. “Get Carter” is a perfect example of a film so forgettable, it’s
ironically memorable.
The thin story concerns Jack Carter’s return to New York City to avenge
the murder of his brother. Original story, heh? It gets worse. The audience
is treated to over an hour of Carter trying to figure out who killed his
brother by interrogating about 10 different characters.
Everyone agrees that the brother died in a drunk driving accident. So
basically you have Stallone mumbling “Who killed my brother?” while the
person he interrogates utters “What are you talking about, it was an accident.”
This dialogue exchange must be repeated close to a dozen times, and through
my boredom I kept asking myself over and over “Where is this going?”
Of course it comes out that the brother’s death was not an accident. Of
course you have Stallone hunting down all the killers and beating them
to a pulp. You can put the entire film together from the previews. But
all of this would be okay if watching Stallone do his avenging was fun.
It’s not, instead the film is really boring. A boring action film? Yes,
“Get Carter” has committed a cardinal sin; it’s an action film that’s
not fun.
There are few things right with the film. First time director Stephen
T. Kay makes some interesting editing choices during action scenes that
seem inspired by the chaotic, yet effective, editing in last year’s “Stigmata.”
Also, there is a great car chase in the film that is the only scene that
makes “Carter” live up to its marketing as an action film. And I can’t
believe I’m saying this, but Stallone’s performance was not bad – he actually
seemed to be playing a character. A real shocker, I know.
Besides those three things, “Get Carter” is a total wash out. I won’t
even go into all the annoying side characters, the dumb twist in the story,
or the lame, lame ending. The film is a remake of a 1971 British film,
but it also seems to borrow heavily from last year’s Mel Gibson’s vehicle,
“Payback.” Although that wasn’t a great film, at least it had amusing
characters and had some fun with itself. Both things which “Carter” severely
lacks.
I can barely remember “Get Carter,” but after writing this review and
dragging up bits and pieces from memory, I now know that I want to forget
it; this time, for good.