Top 10 shows

Jerry Hoffman

Television brings viewers all types of programming to attract more and more people to the loyal following of the couch potato. Some of it is good, but most of it is just plain repulsive. In order to relieve the common viewer from absentmindedly surfing through tired reruns of the Jeffersons and the new Family Feud, I have taken the liberty of assembling a list of the top ten intelligent programs on television.
10. T.V. Funhouse (Comedy Central, Wednesdays @ 10:30 PM): Taking on the air of Mr. Dressup meets Lamb Chops, this show has the inevitable Comedy Central twist. The animal puppets, affectionately known as the Anipals, are anything but affectionate toward the host, frequently blowing off his theme days for trips to places like Rio and Atlantic City. Meanwhile, the host is left behind with the show to run the theme by himself.
Cartoons also appear between the sketches throughout the show. While these cartoons are not exactly the funniest ever, there are a few that get the laughter going.
T.V. Funhouse is interesting to watch, but it appears at number ten for the reason that some of what happens on the show is just plain stupid. However, it is easy to stomach the dumb cartoons to see the ridiculous antics of the Anipals.
9. Johnny Bravo (Cartoon Network): Johnny Bravo is what might be called a stereotypical ego-freak. He is obsessed with his appearance, which involves blonde Vanilla Ice-like hair, perpetual sunglasses, a black t-shirt and blue jeans with a monstrously muscular build. However, his cool guy image gets him nowhere with the women, due to the fact that he is an incredible jerk and stupid as well.
The show follows him on his daily adventures into the world around him. These adventures usually have him meeting a beautiful woman with whom he inevitably ruins his chances of dating in some hilarious way or another.
8. The X-Files (Fox, Sundays @ 9 PM): The show features Gillian Anderson and Robert Patrick as two FBI agents who are assigned to investigations into the paranormal. Their adventures lead them to discover some interesting things that one would think could never exist in this world.
However, the fact that David Duchovny was replaced by Robert Patrick totally assassinated this show. It was better when Scully was playing devil’s advocate to Mulder’s wild theories. But, ever since Mulder was taken away by aliens, the show hasn’t been the same.
7. The Dukes of Hazzard (TNN, random days @ 9 AM, 2 PM and 2 AM): The Dukes are still trying to foil Boss Hogg’s plans, and Boss Hogg is still trying to put them in jail for crimes they didn’t commit. Depending on the day, it could be either Bo and Luke or Coy and Vance at the wheel of that ever famous General Lee. Although the show runs for an hour, it’s an hour well spent.
6. Battlebots (Comedy Central, Tuesdays @ 10 PM): The concept for Battlebots is simple. People build killer robots, not knowing what everyone else’s killer robots are going to look like, or what weaponry they will brandish. Divided into lightweight, middleweight, heavyweight, and super heavyweight, the remote-controlled bots are placed into an arena of death surrounded by glass walls and a spike strip. Also posing hazards for the bots in the floor hiding from the operators are spikes, circular saws, and platforms that raise and lower known as hellraisers. There is also a hammer in one part of the arena to inflict damage on anything that goes under it.
The battles have a three-minute time limit for the two competitors to go at each other. The object is to either disable the other robot so that it can no longer function, or score the most points during your attempt to disable the other robot with your weapon, or the bot itself.
5. The Acme Hour (Cartoon Network): Many of the true classics of animation appear on this show, including Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, and the infamous Wiley Coyote. As the title indicates, a full hour of these zany cartoons are featured, which is sure to satisfy any cartoon appetite.
4. The Daily Show (Comedy Central, Week nights @ 11 PM): The Daily Show presents hard core news with a twist, of course, and features Jon Stewart as the anchor. While large headlines do make the show, it is usually smaller, seemingly less important stories that make it to the airwaves of the program, such as where the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree came from, and people who believe just a little too firmly in the existence of UFOs. Their reporters also have their own unique twists to add to the stories to make this one of the best news programs ever.
3. The Man Show (Comedy Central, Sundays @ 10 PM): The Man Show features Adam Corolla and Jimmy Kimmel drinking beer, and showing hilarious clips featuring such things as a visit to Snoop Dogg’s house, a visit to the Playboy mansion, and a strip basketball game with the only set of twins among the juggy dancers.
While it may be stereotyping men, this show is still hilarious, and is worth every last second of the half hour that it airs. It’s also worth it to watch the girls jumping on trampolines at the end.
2. The Simpsons (CBC and Fox, Sundays @ 8 PM, plus Tons O’ Reruns): America’s greatest family satire is on three times a day on both the Fox stations, and the Canadian channel. Nothing more needs to be said about this show, because if you don’t know about the Simpsons, you’d better go back to whatever planet you’ve been living on for the past few years.
1. South Park (Comedy Central, Wednesdays @ 10 PM): Cartman, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny have all found a spot in the number one slot because of the simple fact that this show is the best in existence.
The new season is off to sort of a shaky start, and for right now the fourth grade years have been replaced with the Wild Animal Orgy. However, the cartoon is still hilarious even though it is cheaply done in a computer animation program. This show should be watched no matter what.
WWF Wrestling gets an honorable mention for being one hell of a soap opera. However, since almost everyone has an opinion concerning wrestling, it did not make the top ten.
Hopefully, this list has been helpful in the search for intelligent television programming. These shows are some of the best out there, and should all have Academy Awards if they don’t already. So, may your days of channel surfing be at an end, and these shows find a place in your television schedule.