Warriner Mall seal: Powerful capacity for love?

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The time seemed right, I suppose, to test the myth of Central Michigan
University’s seal in front of Warriner Hall.

I had heard for years the power that piece of cement and metal held
over the relationships of students at this fine Midwest institution. It
is said to provide eternal happiness if its powers are used correctly.

This last Sunday, during the half-time of the Detroit Lions
game, I went on a mission to see if the myth of the Seal was true.

While the myth says I am suppose to kiss my girlfriend at the stroke
of midnight under a full moon, I figured in advance that if the
effectiveness of the seal was great enough, that neither the time of
day nor the condition of the moon mattered.

When we left my brother’s Washington Court apartment, my
girlfriend, Linsey Wuepper, and I started a walk we had taken many
times before: A leisurely stroll around campus to chit-chat and get
some fresh air.

As we left, my brother sneaked out behind us in his car to deliver
to Warriner Mall a package I had created the night before.

We walked casually and deliberately through campus, laughing and
joking and carrying on. If you don’t remember, it was a perfect fall
day: Sunshine, colorful leaves and a cool breeze.

I tried to forget about the ring residing, at that point, in the
left pocket of my jeans — I hid the nervousness in my voice with
merriment and one-liners.

As we strolled into the lawn in front of Warriner Hall, she noticed
the large box lying in the middle of the orange and red and yellow
leaves that had fallen from the dying trees.

“What’s that,” she said with wonderment. “Let’s check it out.”

Once upon the box, situated very near the CMU Seal and its powers of
enduring love, she noticed the sign: “For Linsey.”

As tears of joy (I hope) ran down her face, she opened the box only
discover a smaller wrapped box to unwrap only to discover another
smaller wrapped box and so on until finding a white ring box.

The box, of course, was empty, and I pulled the ring out of my
pocket and asked her to marry me.

In my head (as to not confuse my new fiancé), I noticed it
was not midnight and the moon was not full, so I asked the Seal this
favor: Grant Linsey and I happiness forever.

I am not sure I followed correctly the terms of the Seal to gain its
approval with Linsey — I’ll have to check back with you.

Still, I am not too concerned.

What the Seal does not take care of, I am sure love will.

Enterprise Editor Stephen Tait can be reached for comment at
lifeline@cm-life.com