Hollywood Celebrates New Year’s

Every New Year’s brings out the same old resolutions such as quitting smoking or losing weight.

But that is all average people have. Celebrities, on the other hand, have much ?more extravagant resolutions – just like everything else in their lives.

Their lives are constantly under a microscope and we see every little thing they do. The year 2006 was a year of racist rants, crotch shots, breakups and celebrity babies in Hollywood.

The right New Year’s resolution might make some celebrities a little less controversial and a little less revealing.

Britney Spears probably has the most resolutions: To never again to let her one-year-old child sit in her lap while driving, to stop dropping her children, to never again break up with someone via text message and to start wearing underwear.

Sacha Baron Cohen (“Borat”) probably resolved to fight all those pesky lawsuits filed by people who have no sense of humor.

Steve Irwin’s resolution is to place a curse on the Tampa Bay Devil Rays simply because he can now.

Oprah Winfrey likely is planning on taking over the world, but hopefully her resolution is to be less like God.

Mel Gibson is too arrogant to cut down on the anti- Semitic jokes he tells but probably will never call an officer “sugertits” again while being pulled over for drunken driving.

David Hasselhoff has had quite a year. He came up with his own catchphrase and his music finally made the store shelves in America. The Hoff’s likely resolution – keep living the dream.

CBS Evening News anchor Katie Couric’s resolution probably is to bring the show out of the basement of network news.

Michael Richards’ (Kramer from “Seinfeld”) resolution should be to stop being a racist bigot and start keeping his cool during his ?stand-up routine.

Vice President Dick Cheney is battling Oprah for God status, but should resolve to not mistake a human for a bird while hunting.

Brangelina probably will vow never again to have a baby in the wilderness, but in a real hospital that is sterilized.

Tomkat, at least Katie anyway, might resolve to start raising their child right and not send Suri away to some nut job who believes in a religion based on science fiction novels.