Staff Report | Lifeline

Brett Favre vs. Ric Flair

Last month, fans of sports and sports entertainment lost two of their greatest legends with the retirements of Ric Flair and Brett Favre. Staff reporter Joe Nevills and news editor Frank Wisswell discuss whose retirement will have the biggest impact on their respective industries.

Round 1: Titles won:

Ric Flair has won…and lost the world heavyweight championship an astounding 16 times whereas Favre has won and lost the big game once. Since 16 is greater than one, we have to give Flair the duke here.

Winner: Woooo, score one for the nature boy.

Round 2: Money in the bank

Flair has two failed divorces and is banking on finance to fuel his limousines and jet planes. In fact, many say Flair only returned to wrestling because he needed the money. Favre has endorsement deals from Wrangler and Prilosec as well as his own steakhouse.

Winner: Steak over finances any day.

Round 3: Swan song

Flair got back to back standing ovations during Wrestlemania and the next night on Monday Night Raw and still managed to look manly crying in the middle of the ring. Favre threw an interception on his last play ever, costing his heavily favored team the NFC Championship in overtime.

Winner: Even sweet chin music can’t keep Flair down.

Round 4: Toughness

Flair fell off a 15-foot ladder at age 57 and has taken (and given) more chops to the chest than any man should. Favre had 253 consecutive starts, an NFL record that may never be broken.

Winner: We wouldn’t want to call either man a sissy, would you?

Round 5:

Comeback potential

No wrestler, especially not a 16-time world champion, ever really retires. Besides, Flair still has years left on his WWE contract. Meanwhile, in football, if Favre stays out for one season, he’ll be gone forever.

Winner: Retiring with integrity is key, but we really want to see one more Flair match. Flair wins.

Round 6: Signature move

Flair is known for his chops, low blows and his signature Figure Four Leglock. Favre is best known for his off-balance no-look chuck to the endzone with a defensive end hanging off his torso.

Winner: Favre, but we couldn’t handle being on the receiving end of either.

Round 7:

Fan/cult following

Wrestling fans will forever “wooooo” every time one man (or woman) chops another. Meanwhile, the color black hasn’t been so associated with Favre’s jersey throughout the entire city of Green Bay since he played for the Atlanta Falcons.

Winner: When it comes to wrestling fans vs. an entire city, we have to give Favre the advantage.

Round 8:

Impact in their field

Favre has set almost every record a quarterback could. Meanwhile, every single wrestler today, whether he or she is wrestling in a high school gym or Madison Square Garden, wanted to be Ric Flair growing up.

Winner: We wanted to be Flair when we grew up, too.

Round 9: Fashion sense

Bright colored robes and bleached blonde hair vs. Wrangler jeans. Favre’s looks have held up better with time, whereas Flair looks like someone’s more muscular, more tan, bleached blonde grandpa.

Winner: We wouldn’t be caught dead in Flair’s robes. Favre wins.

Round 10: Theme song

We associate the “Dawn” theme from “2001: A Space Odyssey” with a strutting Flair as opposed to Kubrick. Meanwhile, Lambeau Field plays Todd Rundgren’s “Bang on the Drum” during every Packers touchdown.

Winner: Search Youtube for “Custom Made” and determine the winner yourself.

Final Countdown:

Ric Flair can dance all night long knowing that his retirement will be remembered by wrestling fans, even if other people couldn’t give a figure four. Flair technically gets to win his last match with a 5-4 victory with one draw.

lifeline@cm-life.com

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