Susanne Stefanski created a support group on campus for students that have experienced some form of emotional or physical violence.

A new CMU Counseling Center group aimed at students in controlling relationships called “Don’t Lose Yourself In the Relationship” will meet 10 a.m. to 11 a.m. Wednesday’s beginning Oct. 1 in Foust Room 103 of the Counseling Center.

“This support group is not focused around telling students what to do; it’s to give them choices and give them back some control,” Stefanski said, Counseling Center faculty and Sexual Aggression Peer Advocates dedicated counselor.

Stefanski said several students have come into the Counseling Center with identified unhealthy relationships but do not know if their strong enough to leave them.

The group sizes will be designed for eight to 10 people.

“This is a way for students who have become isolated from family and friends, or people reflecting back on past relationships, to meet with other people who have been through controlling relationships,” Stefanski said.

SAPA mentor Matt Campbell said there are currently no groups directed toward controlling relationships.

“This is going to be another outlet to help assess relationships to find out where they stand and where they want to be,” Campbell said, a Troy senior.

Mary Peters, SAPA graduate assistant, said the group is not going to tell students what type of controlling relationship they are categorized in.

“Students find it easier to talk about their boyfriend and girlfriend being controlling when all around they are in an abusive relationship,” Peters said.

Male students are also victims in controlling relationships; however, it is harder for them to classify what type of controlling relationship they are in, Campbell said.

“As a guy, it would be harder to classify it as abuse. I would want to say that it would be more of an annoyance,” he said.

Stefanski said on average a person will leave a controlling relationship eight times before they leave successfully, that is if they ever leave.

Ways to identify controlling relationships is if they get involved quick, accept no responsibility for their actions, isolate the victim or make the victim want to change themselves to meet their expectations, Stefanski said.

“Many people ask why the victim does not leave the relationship,” she said. “What should be asked is why is the other person acting so aggressive?”

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E-mail the author: Lynn Fischer