Coffee central part of lifestyle

I have severely self-destructive coffee-drinking habits.

It’s not only that I need coffee to wake up in the morning. That’s not the worst of it.

It’s that I have a horrid tendency to drink coffee to the point of becoming a jittery mess – especially when refills are easily accessible.

Coffee is often celebrated for its health benefits, as it lacks the sugar and calories of its caffeine competitors: energy drinks and soda.

This is well and good, and I’m certainly happy I’ve opted for the healthiest way to generate artificial energy.

But the problem is closely related: Drinking a lot of coffee, especially while eating or drinking little else, is a surefire way to transform yourself into a highly alert train wreck.

Nearly everybody knows this. I’ve known it for years.

Nevertheless, when the opportunity arises, I almost always go back for a second cup. Or third. Or – on Central Michigan Life production days – fourth, fifth and sixth.

The coffee doesn’t even need to be good. I’ve drank coffee well on its way to becoming lukewarm. Its temperature only underscored the need to finish it quickly; otherwise, it would have gone to waste.

So what makes me drink the stuff?

In part, it is the flavor. A good cup of coffee is one of the most rewarding experiences anyone can have in the morning. It’s ideal for sipping while reading, studying, watching TV – whatever. Good coffee is a way to enjoy the morning rather than begrudgingly wake up.

But even when the coffee is sub-par (and I know sub-par coffee), I prefer it to any other caffeine medium. I’ve found it to be the most effective means to a quick energy boost; sugary energy drinks just make me nauseated.

I may be a jittery wreck, but I’m a productive jittery wreck.

Though my social skills are hindered by my newfound tendency to discuss in full detail why the first few rounds of “Family Feud” are disproportionately inconsequential, I’m able to do things like, say, stay awake during a morning statistics class. And that’s only one of my Herculean feats.

Drinking a copious amount of coffee may occasionally be bad for my health.

It’s certainly bad for my image: As a sharply self-deprecating, neurotic scrawny guy with constantly disheveled hair, I fit nearly every coffee-drinker caricature.

But I couldn’t imagine living without coffee, for both productivity and pleasure.

lifeline@cm-life.com