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Mount Pleasant family overcomes struggles in the midst of poverty

By on March 15, 2010 5:15 am in Featured, Metro / 47 comments

 
Mount Pleasant family overcomes struggles in the midst of poverty
Beth and her middle son, Daniel, 11, wait in line Nov. 5 at Save-A-Lot on Mission Street. "It's always really busy the first few days of the month, because everyone's getting their new food stamps," she said. (Libby March/Staff Photographer)
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Bethany McDonald sat in her trailer one night earlier this month, a cigarette and cup of coffee in hand, gazing at an order form for Pure Romance products.

Perhaps, the 29-year-old Mount Pleasant resident thought, this form could be her family’s ticket to pay the bills. She makes 35 percent of the profits gained from adult products sold at in-home parties as a consultant for Pure Romance.

But it not might be enough to support herself, her husband, Leroy “Big Lee” McDonald, and their three sons.

“I’ve always wanted to give people hope,” Bethany said, “and tell them that it will be better.”

Pregnant at 14 and married two years later, Bethany had been the child of divorced parents for more than a decade — knowing full well the extent of the challenges thrown her way.

Embracing life as a mother

Motherhood was, in fact, something Bethany strived for so young, telling her father she was “going to get pregnant.”

“I wish you would’ve told me that,” Leroy said with a wry smile in the couple’s home at Lot 105 of the Mount Pleasant Mobile Home Park, 505 S. Bradley Road.

“It actually was my choice to do so,” Bethany said,

In August 1995, Bethany and Leroy, then her boyfriend, were kicked out of her father’s house two days before the birth of their first child, Leroy, or “Little Lee.”

When Little Lee was only eight months old, he was led down the aisle in a wagon as the ring bearer for his parents’ wedding. Because Bethany was 16, the only local church that would wed the two was Immanuel Lutheran Church, 320 S. Bradley Road.

“I can say I did something not many 16 year olds who get married can say — that they’re still together and they’re still in love,” Bethany said. “And we get to grow up with our children. Everything is still new and it’s still a learning experience.”

Bethany and Leroy McDonald now have three sons: Leroy, 15; Daniel, 11; and Dallas, 10.

Past to present

For Bethany, her past fuels her current life.

“My kids are the best thing that’s happened to me,” she said. “The reason we are the parents we are is we both decided we didn’t want to be parents like ours were. My mother was a heroin addict and a prostitute for many years, and I love her still, but when she came back into my life, I was a mother myself.”

The McDonalds’ income was cut in half five months ago. Bethany and Leroy received about $1400 each month as community directors in the mobile home park in November. The couple is now receiving $650 per month, performing the same duties.

Paying the bills is a source of constant stress for Beth, who often foregoes personal pain in lieu of other expenses, she said. In her early 20’s, intense tooth pain led to a medical crossroad: she could choose expensive surgery to fix her teeth, or have them removed. Unable to afford the surgery, she had her teeth removed at age 22.

Bethany has held five to six different jobs between the Dollar General and a local Burger King since 2005. Currently, she is attempting to bring in money in a joint venture with her sister Jenn, now 27. The sisters are Pure Romance party coordinators, and receive 35 percent of profits on product sales made.

“The thing about people around here is we don’t work to get ahead, or to get a break. We work for the purpose of just keeping our heads above water,” Bethany said.

Community role model

Bethany said she and Leroy decided to become community directors for the mobile home park because of a sense of community.

“My husband and I have this idea, even though it sounds ridiculous, that we can, you know, make everything better. We want to fix everybody and everything. And so the idea was, ‘let’s do something nice for the park,’” Bethany said.

“What has the park ever done for us? The park hasn’t done anything for us,” said her son Leroy.

“You’re right the park might not do much for us, but damn it, we live here,” Bethany answered. “And if we can do something to bring people a little bit of hope, as long as we’re part of this place— your father and I, and you boys, better do something to try and make a difference.”

She doesn’t focus just on getting her own children up for school, but also many children from the park. Bethany said she drives some children to school and often picks them up from school too. Some days, if there is no word from their parents and kids do not show up to her home for the car ride to school, she knocks on doors to ensure they get up for class.  One time, a friend of her son Leroy was living under her roof until he worked things out with his own mother.

“But that’s what everybody knows me for, is taking in strays,” Bethany said, laughing.  “There’s that saying, ‘in 100 years, it won’t matter the kind of clothes you wore, the kind of car you drive, all that will matter is that you made a difference in the life of a child,’ and I have always believed that’s true.”

“Fourteen and pregnant” may not sound like the pathway for a role model, but Bethany McDonald seeks to prove circumstance does not determine character.

“I have always wanted to give people hope, and tell them that it will be better. … I’ve always wanted to tell them that we did it, and if we did it you can do it.  And don’t ever let anyone tell you different,” she said. “It will be hard, but if you want it and you work hard enough, you can do anything.”

 

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  • mike

    And the cart is filled with junk food.

  • mike

    Pregnant at 14… ““It actually was my choice to do so,” Bethany said.

    Bethany and Leroy McDonald now have three sons: Leroy, 15; Daniel, 11;

    and Dallas, 10.

    …cigarette and cup of coffee in hand…

    maybe you should cut back on the cigs and stop having kids…… my tax dollars pay for your kids to eat those powdered doughnuts in that cart

  • Guest

    I could be annoyed and say something, but after a while, one simply learns that this is typical today. It’s not going to change. Her kids will have 4 or 5 kids each, etc.

  • Sherie

    If things are that bad, not buying cigarettes would probably make a big difference.

  • Sherie

    Was she able to get even a H.S. diploma while CHOOSING to have those babies? Maybe she should have thought about helping herself before being worried about helping others. Just 29 years old, going nowhere and washed up already. What an example to set for her kids.

  • guest

    “..you can do anything.” Like end up rolling your own, eating donuts and co-managing a trailer park with a guy named Leroy. How is this “working to make ends meet”. It should be entitled, “work hard or this is the end you’ll meet”. Does this really reflect an hardworking family or the norm? What a great ad for teen responsibility.

  • John

    I think everyone on here making snide comments has something to learn from Bethany. She and her family are living proof that a life based on the pursuit of money and material possessions is not necessarily a happy life. It’s easy for you to sit behind your computer in your heated dorm/apartment while your parents pick up your tuition tab and judge her for her life, but what have you really done? What makes you better than her?

    Bethany has overcome more struggles in her life than you will probably ever face. Instead of fretting over what classes to take next fall, or which frat house to get hammered at this weekend she is worried about keeping her family fed and under a roof.

    Old, going nowhere and washed up? From this article, it sounds as if Bethany is the practically the backbone of her entire community and is working herself to the bone to make a better future for her children.

    You people need to realize that not everyone is this world is given the same opportunities that you have been given, and that just because our society deems your lifestyle as “normal” or “correct” doesn’t mean that it is right. I would love for once to see people being compassionate toward others who are in less desirable circumstances instead of feeling the need to senselessly criticize and place the blame on them.

  • Heather

    I think that this story is a joke. How is this woman a role model. She can’t make her bills, and the filing system she has is the one photo is ridiculous. She probably pays $127 in late fees a month. She shouldn’t smoke either. If you cant pay your bills, then you dont need to smoke. A women who got pregnant early and sells dildos for a living is not meant to inspire the masses. I feel that whoever wrote this piece was making this women out to be a joke, and they should be ashamed of themselves. Why dont you get a real role model. My sister is 21. She got pregnant when she was 15. She is a single mom for the most part. She currently holds a 4.0 at CMU and is head manager of a restaurant full time. She’s a role model. Try again CM life. I know it’s spring break but come on.

  • Leah

    Heather,

    Bethany probably at least knows the difference between women and woman. Plural and singular? First grade? Were you there?

    The person writing this piece probably saw that Bethany is a hardworking woman who tries to make the best of what she has and wanted others to be able to see that and be inspired by the goodness in her heart. Perhaps you should take a good look at your own heart and try to reconcile the part with a misguided sense of judgment.

  • Antonio

    How could we help her?

  • Jake

    If this is a typical Mount Pleasant family I am transferring out of here as soon as possible.

  • me

    Put her on birth control, get her some Chantix, and an education. Or you could just buy a bunch of sex toys from her….

  • Ashlee Yzquierdo

    I like this woman. She decided at a young age that she was going to live for others, not herself, and that’s remarkable.

    So what if she smokes, if she eats donuts, or gives her kids ‘junk food’? everyone has flaws, and anyone who gets caught up on the cigarette comment and ignores what Bethany does for others should really consider their own.

  • Nedra

    This article is about a family who is “struggling”. Wasting money on cigarettes is contributing to that struggle, and therefore is a valid comment.

  • Ashlee Yzquierdo

    @Heather,

    That’s great that your sister is also making something of her life, but it’s closed-minded of you to think that good grades and a good job are the only ways to be a good role model.

    Perhaps you should try to be a good role model yourself, see what happens.

    @Antonio,

    If you seriously want to help her out, you could start a pop-can drive, a bake sale, offer to help out with her chores/kids. Hell, you could probably help her out by living by her example, make life better for your community.

    @Me,

    She doesn’t need the birth control, she only has 3 kids, the youngest is 10. Maybe she’s already on it? who knows.

    @1st Guest,

    This is NOT typical today. She’s a happy caring mother who is in love with her husband, is happily married, and is doing something, even small, to improve the world. If her attitude were typical today, we’d be a lot better off.

    @Sherie,

    The ‘Help yourself before you help others’ deal isn’t for everyone. I think Bethany is of the type to ‘Help yourself by helping others’.

  • guest

    Breaking her back? She’s selling sex toys and comanaging a trailer park!

    Give me a break with all this sniveling about how noble this situation is. It is pathetic. There has a to be a better subject to run such a story about.

  • Ashlee Yzquierdo

    ‘Give me a break with all this sniveling about how noble this situation is’

    Your sentence structure is impeccable.

    You could go and help her out, and then maybe there would be a story about you.

  • guest

    Right after you Ashlee. I’ll be at your bake sale. Cigarettes, junk food, young marriage, underage sex, teenage pregnancy, selling sex toys from home, You are right! Forget the good grades and a good job! She is a good role model!

    I’m sure your undergraduate, ivory tower view of the world will serve you well. To deny the pathetic and irresponsible appearance of this woman’s choices is risible. (Go ahead, look it up…we’ll wait.)

    Howz dat fo semtens stukshur.

  • Ashlee Yzquierdo

    Important points that make Bethany a good role model:

    -Supportive mother
    -Important community member
    -Willing to do what it takes to make it in this world

    I just think that the bright sides of this woman’s life are far more important to acknowledge.

    Thanks for mocking me, by the way.

  • Antonio

    The ironic thing about these comments is that the most successful people, money wise, are the ones living by standards of corporate Washington spending your taxes on lavish vacations and jet fuel to get there. These people get so much money through un-ethical ways it’s not even funny, yet not even their shareholders do anything about it. People today go through college thinking good grades, a job working FOR someone and receiving earned income is going to make them successful (Heather’s sister), but only lasts until they work long enough to realize that 50% of their money or more goes to taxes, while the entrepreneurs without even a college degree are the ones with billions of dollars and pay only a small fraction in taxes compared to people living in poverty.

    No one is right. Yea she buys cigarettes and has three kids who will hopefully not repeat her ways, but you can’t deny that society shoves these people in a corner and says, “you are garbage, go over there.” How do you expect people to move UP in a place like that?

  • mike

    fact = she is on food stamps buying junk food on our tax dollars (wi sh I could get free junk food from the state.

    fact = she has no money yet she can buy cigarettes

  • me

    Another fact – she can spend money on cigs, but the taxpayers have to feed her family.

  • Ben

    Regardless of my opinion on the moral worth of this woman, I don’t think there is much of a story here. A random lady who had a messed up childhood decided she wanted kids at age 14 and hasn’t lost her children yet… And the conclusion is you should stick to what you believe and never let anyone tell you differently, because doing what you want to do with life is what is most important. I agree with the conclusion, but the story that leads into doesn’t fit at all. If someone really wanted to be a bank robber for a living and believed it was the correct way to live their life, should we encourage them to do so? I’m of the opinion that we should not. Having children at age fourteen (and ending up wasting other people’s tax dollars by going on welfare and smoking) and not listening to people with a little more experience in life than yourself who are warning that this is a bad idea shouldn’t be encouraged. Whether or not she is a bad person or one worthy of looking up to is not what I’m debating here, I’m merely saying this story is inaccurate. I agree with the conclusion and this is a well-written article, but it only serves to exemplify that when news media has nothing to write about, it milks a supposedly out-of-the-ordinary story from a perfectly normal circumstance; in this case, it even arrives at a completely improper conclusion. The sad thing is, there is a moral to this woman’s story, but it’s not the “fight the good fight” theme we see here, it is, to put it bluntly, don’t be an idiot.

  • Nick

    How do we know she she has food stamps? I didn’t see that in the article. I think this woman has had a rough life, but she seems to stay positive, and that I can respect. I also respect the fact that she is trying to help not only her own children, but those around her. You think this woman is happy with how her life turned out? Probably not. But who are any of you to judge?

    I am a college student as well. I have had it pretty easy. My tuition is paid. My rent is paid. I pay my own bills with a part-time job, but I have no real struggles. Until you walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, you should really keep quiet. Some of you will never have to go through what this woman has had to go through, and you should be thankful for that. I see a lot of rude, heartless people commenting on this article, and it makes me sick. Is this really how people feel about each other today?

  • Nick

    There shouldn’t be a comment section on this article. I hope this poor woman never has to read what you people are saying. It’s rather sickening.

  • Mike

    I really hope her poor children do not have to read what you people have been saying. Forget the parents for a second. Can you imagine how horrible these poor children must feel after reading what some of you have said? I know what it’s like to grow up the hard way. I wasn’t anywhere near as poor as this family, but it wasn’t easy. The comments following this report must make these poor children feel awful. Some of you should be ashamed of yourselves.

  • http://reddit.com redditor

    Vice: a habit which is regarded as a weakness in someone’s character, but not usually as a serious fault.

    Examples of a vice: Smoking, drinking, drinking to excess, white lies. Also, an addiction to sugar, caffeine, video games, television, etc.

    To everyone who is bitching out Mrs. McDonald for smoking, consider this. After a hard days work, what do you do? Some of you enjoy a beer (or other malt liquor/mixed drink), some (surprisingly) smoke a cigarette or two (or five)–some of you might even pack a bowl or roll a joint and relax with that instead. Others still might take a different route–a route less frowned upon. A cup of coffee, maybe from Starbucks, maybe from a more local coffee shop. Others will cook up some delicious food, some will throw on a video game or watch their favorite television shows for a couple hours.

    All of these are vices. We need vices. Vices help us get through the day, through our lives. Don’t pass judgment on Beth McDonald simply because YOU don’t agree with or like her vice. I’ll put it in perspective for you. President Obama (the guy who runs the U.S.) is a well-known smoker. He’s been trying to quit, but he still slips, that’s also a well-known fact. It’s almost like there is something about having a heavy burden on your shoulders that makes you crave a stress reliever. Go figure, cigarettes are a stress reliever. Granted, this stress reliever can quickly become an addiction, but so can half a billion other things.

    How many of you drink pop (or soda, if you’re from around those parts–my girlfriend is, so I’m getting used to this crazy idea)? How many of you drink it when you go out to eat, or buy one before class? Do you buy a 12 pack while you’re at the store? Why are you wasting countless dollars on something that is bad for you?

    How many of you drink coffee? How many of you will go to a coffee shop and buy a ridiculously overpriced latte? I don’t care if you use flex dollars, you’re still paying for it. Don’t be so quick to judge a vice, you have one too. I can put it into literary/academic terms if you need me, I know that all we care about is getting good grades and then getting drunk (oh hey, that costs money and it’s bad for you…you should stop, maybe you’d have more money for food)…Brave New World is a book that most of us have read, it’s required in almost every Lit class it seems. You know the drug Soma? Replace soma with whatever over-glamorized or ultra-consumerist thing I’ve mentioned here. That is your Soma. Do we finally grasp the concept?

    And now on to my second point. You all are ranting and raving about how terrible of a role model this woman is. I think you are guys are completely wrong about that. You need to STOP thinking about yourselves. You need to purge your brain of this individualistic BS that the mainstream media has bombarded you with. It’s not about the fact that she got pregnant at 14 or sells dildoes out of her trailer, it’s about the fact that she was married before she was 18 and is still together with her husband. She has 3 kids, and she loves them all. She lives in a trailer park, she makes next to NO money (by the way, us college kids took all the part-time jobs from her, so if you have a problem with her job, why don’t you offer yours up to her?), but her main priority is to help others.

    I know, I know, this is a very strange concept. Why the frak should we care about others, right? Well, when enormous earthquakes hit Haiti and Chile, the entire world was there to aid them. But why do we need to limit ourselves to such huge disasters? We’re lacking a sense of community when all we do is focus on what will give us the best press.

    I commend Beth McDonald for her sense of community–she knows what really matters in this life. I also commend Libby, the author, for writing and photographing this incredible story. Great job.

  • reader

    People who are truly living in poverty cannot afford to buy cigarettes.

  • mike

    she chose to get pregnant at 14, did i get to chose when my tax dollars goes to her filling her cart up with crap?

  • Ben

    Nick-

    This woman didn’t HAVE to go through what she went through. In the article it’s made explicit that it was her choice to have kids at 14. No one forced her to do that.

  • Nick

    Hey Ben, it also stated that she had a prostitute/heroin addict for a mother. I don’t see much oppurtunity for anything better coming out of that situation. I am glad to give up some of my hard earned tax dollars for this woman and her family to eat and have shelter. I’m not a selfish POS like most other people who have commented on this forum.

  • bethanymcdonald

    To all of you who complain about me let me fill in the blanks. I worked at dollar general as the assistant manager when the pics were taken and I was good at my job. I have PAID taxes and still do. My bills are paid and so what if I smoke any money that I have earned goes to bills then what the boys need then my tobacco. I don't buy the $8 pack of smokes like most of you. My kids are proud of there father and I. We give them every thing they need and who said I was on welfare the state don't pay me. I don't get free money. You all don't know I left dollar general because my dad was burned severely and I was going to flint every day to help with his care. Then was there to help when he came home. Before dollar general I worked for three years as a DCW ( direct care worker) on a midnight shift so my husband could work during the day and i could be with the kids. I am happy with my life. I have a husband that loves me. How many of you can say the same thing? How many can say they have only been with one person their entire life? I can and thats pretty good for a thirty year old. There is nothing wrong with where we live either. The park is not a bad place, a lot of good people live here. Years ago this place got a bad name for a lot of things, but that was then this is now and unless you take the blinders of you will never see the good things that have happens in the park since it is under new ownership. We do not all live in poverty, there are some people that live here because they want to not have to. They like being here. As for my mother she past away two years ago. I never approved of her life style but I forgave her and loved her because she was my mother. My parents separated when I was young, but my dad raised me and he did a good job. I didn't meet my mother until I was almost a mother my self, at which time she had gotten her life back in order. Yes I got pregnant and had our first son at 15 but that was our decision.We did NOT go get welfare. We take care of him and love him. I still got my High School diploma and worked. I do not co-manage the park I help out in the park. No one but my husband and I have to pay for our kids. As for what my kids eat yes I get them donuts once in a while. Are you all trying to tell me your parents never let you have donuts, I am very sorry for you then. My kids have every thing they need. Oh and the coffee is cheaper when you buy a can for five dollars instead of a capacino for five dollars. Average it out and its like three cents a cup. You all have no right to judge me or my family the article dose not have all the story or correct info. Yes I try to help others and there is nothing wrong with that. Have any of you ever helped any one that really needed it? My husband works and brings money in that was not stated in the article. We are making it with out the free money you all seem to think I get. My husband takes care of us. The Pure romance thing was just something my sister and I were doing for the purpose of getting out and meeting new people NOT for income. I am very sorry that people have nothing better to do than judge other people. I truly believe that we will all be judged one day, but it will be by GOD so say what ever you want it dose not matter what we think.

  • bethanymcdonald

    thank you

  • bethanymcdonald

    thank you

  • browneyes30

    The only junk i see in the cart was a lil box of donuts. Who hasnt had donuts? My kids get them for snack or breakfast if they are running late.

  • browneyes30

    How do you know that your tax dollars are paying for anything for her? Do you get a copy of who they go to? Prolly not so what are you bitching about?

  • browneyes30

    I am sure you buy stuff that you shouldnt buy.

  • browneyes30

    I agree with you on this. Lots of people should look up to Lee and Beth. They was married young and are still together. How many people do you know that get married that young are still in love like they are?

  • browneyes30

    I think i want to buy a bunch of sex toys.

  • browneyes30

    AMEN!! Praise God!

  • browneyes30

    How about they run one on you?

  • browneyes30

    It never says she has no money just said lil money. How do you know she is on food stamps did they state that in the paper? The only thing i seen was that the first of each month is busy at the store cause of people who get food stamps are there shopping.

  • browneyes30

    You are very true. No one should judge a book by its cover.

  • browneyes30

    I agree with you. I smoke and drink pop on a daily routine. There is nothing wrong with smoking or drinking coffee or pop or whatever choice is.

  • browneyes30

    AMEN! PRAISE THE LORD!

  • kathleen

    who cares if she smokes??? Didnt you read the article? Her youngest son is 10 years old already. I think they already stop having kids 10 years ago. DUH! I agree with browneyes. what are you whining about? Beth's family pays taxes, too.

  • kathleen

    stop judging people! you guys dont know beth and her family. you guys are gonna judge her because this article without even knowing them??? Shame on you!!