Students in relationships bridge distance with help of social technology

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A seven-hour trip can make maintaining a relationship a difficult task, but with the help of Skype and other online communication channels some students make it work.

Sophomore Nicole Szostak and her boyfriend Nicholas Moy, a sophomore at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, have dated for four years, two of which almost entirely through social networking.

“Skype has been critical,” Szostak said. “We honestly couldn’t do it without Skype.”

Both hail from Gurnee, Ill., where they met at Warren Township Public High School. Szostak said it took a while for the relationship to form, but eventually they became high school sweethearts.

Both were interested in studying biology, but chose different colleges. Moy wanted to attend UIUC, but Szostak felt it was too large of an institution for her, and went instead to Western Illinois University.

Last semester she transferred to CMU where she is now majoring in integrated biology. The driving distance is 7 hours, Moy said, and they are apart for about a month on average.

“I do not have a car on campus, so if I am to visit there I take the train and it takes the entire day,” Moy said. “Because of the long drive, we try to meet back in our shared hometown, which is only three hours away from my school and five-and-a half from Nicole’s.”

Skype has allowed them to feel close even with the distance, Szostak said. They use the program to talk for about an hour during weekdays, and almost the whole day on Saturday. Moy said they average about 10 hours a week. They also have a movie date night on the weekend.

“We have Netflix so we’ll log in and put a movie in at the same time and then talk about it,” Szostak said.

Both Szostak and Moy said it was hard not being there to experience days together. But keeping Skype open when they do everyday things helps make it feel like they are hanging out in the room together, Moy said.

“While we’re doing homework, we’ll have Skype up, without even talking,” Szostak said. “It makes me feel like he’s not that far away.”

Moy said making the relationships work come down to not forcing it and keeping long-term goals in mind.

“Nicole and I are in a long-distance relationship because we are in it for the long-term,” Moy said. “I would not want to spend my time with anyone else, and of course she is my best and closest friend.”

Commerce sophomore Dana Thomas is one of Szostak’s roomates in Kesseler. She is close with Szostak, she said, and respects her for the way she and Moy make their relationship work.

Thomas also uses Skype to talk to her best friend in Arizona and has even used it to celebrate Christmas with a distant aunt. She said she expects it to change how relationships are carried on in the future.

“Decades ago, people wanted relationships the old-fashioned way and now more people are meeting online,” Thomas said. “I’d rather it be what Nick and Nicole are doing — meeting the old-fashioned way and then using it as a tool to stay close.”