COLUMN: An argument against ‘hooking up’

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After breaking up with a boyfriend, I went out to the bar with friends.

We began talking about relationships, including mine, when they suggested I “hook-up” with a guy, to help me move on and have fun.

But personally, hooking up never seems like that much fun— it just seems awkward and uncomfortable.

We debated about the merits of hooking up and how it has become a popular scenario for many college students.

Well, why has it?

If you are a person that truly craves sex all the time and can handle one-night stands, then by all means, go at it, literally. I’m not going to criticize someone for knowing what they want and going for it.

But when I asked my friends if any of these encounters they had were sexually satisfying, their reply was “not really.”

For me it’s all about quality, not quantity. Sure you can have a few mediocre hook-ups, but I would rather meet a guy, date him, then hit it off in and out of the bedroom.

All too often I see a girl start a “friends with benefits” situation with a guy and then they are shocked and upset when it doesn’t turn into anything more meaningful.

As women, we have all the power. We have that card to play with men. Ladies, if you meet a guy and see that there could be relationship potential, don’t have sex on the first, second or even third date. If he can’t wait until you’re ready, then he’s not worth it to begin with.

I’m not a prude — I love sex as much as the next person. But I also know myself, and hooking up with a guy isn’t going to make my self-esteem skyrocket or make a guy like me.

For answers to sex and relationship questions, please contact me in one of two ways, whichever you feel more comfortable with.

Email me at spenc1jc@cmich.edu or submit questions anonymously to my new Formspring account, which allows questions to be sent and answered without releasing your name, formspring.me/JordanCSpence.

They are completely anonymous and I will try to answer as many of them as possible, so I hope to hear from you.