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POINT: Wow, nice place

 

Andrew Dooley/Student Life Editor

Something lost in economic and scientific debates about climate change and the need for green technology is the jaw-dropping majesty of this planet we have inherited.

We were supposed to be guardians of the mechanisms that created a species as magnificently talented as ourselves, but six packs had to be held together by something. Sorry, dolphins.

Though ostensibly an industrial state, Michigan has always benefited from our extroidinary natural resources. Clean energy, whether it comes in the form of turbines or new automotive technology, can be an economic boom to our region while protecting the beauty of nature around us.

Now to that beauty: Michigan has an abundance of lakes, obviously, but also natural wonders such as Pictured Rocks, the Sleeping Bear Dunes and other sites.

While trees, mountains and thunderstorms are incredible in their own way, it’s human nature to identify most closely with animals. Selfishness is what got us into this mess, so maybe it can help us realize we have to get out of it.

Our love of animals has created an entire generation of Americans unable to leave home for fear of missing the latest video of a cat doing something, probably involving socks or raspberries, on the Internet.

So looking outside of our Malicious Mitten, please allow me to take you on a brief tour of some of my favorite species, just to remind you exactly what saving the environment really means. While species like mussels and monkeys should deserve equal attention, that’s not really how things work.

Red pandas, also known as the firefox, are not really pandas at all, but these cousins of the raccoon are champions of the Google image search.

While celebrities of the world from Don King to Bill Clinton fight for the privilege of posing with a giant panda (always wearing blue latex gloves, which makes the whole thing look even more disconcerting), the red panda quietly lives out its existence as the clearly cooler animal.

The octopus is not actually native to the frosty playing surface of Joe Louis Arena. This majestic sea beast hit its peak with Paul the Octopus (Pulpo Paul, to cool people), an octopus kept in captivity in Germany who correctly predicted eight consecutive outcomes at the 2010 World Cup, including the Spanish victory in the final.

An obvious low point for the species was the depiction of Ursula in “The Little Mermaid,” who was gross.

Beyond being cool to look at (and cooler to have peer deep into your soul), the octopus is an incredibly intelligent animal. Brilliant, yet without any bones, the octopus is a master escape artist, capable of squeezing through impossibly small spaces. They’re like a giant chicken nugget but with a brain.

In conclusion, penguins. Just … penguins.

Now please walk and ride bikes more often. Laziness is a poor excuse for putting our remarkable blue marble on the path toward annihilation.

 
 
  • Anonymous

    What are you talking about?
    honestly
    what are you talking about?

    you sound like a walt whitman poem with downs syndrome.

    humans are hardly the guardians of this planet.
    Our problems is our hubris – thinking we have to go out and fix everything.
    we’ll be gone just like everything that came before us eventually.
    and the blue marble will be here long after

  • Vintagebaby12

    Haha “In conclusion, penguins. Just . . . penguins.” hahaha love it :)