COLUMN: The joys of womanhood
By Melissa Beauchamp on September 14, 2012 7:30 am / 12 comments
Being a woman sucks.
Hanging out with the male species is much more relaxing and fun – and it’s acceptable to talk about poop and other interesting bodily functions men seem fascinated with. Sitting around drinking Dos Equis and watching the game is more fun than throwing glitter everywhere and talking about boys and clothes.
One of the main things that get “in the way,” literally, of being a woman is those two-pounds (give or take depending on if you are a part of the itty-bitty titty committee) of fat hanging from the body. At 8 years old, we all stuff our training bra and wish we inherit grandma’s DD. Then, once we turn 18, we are sick of men staring at them and wish they would just disappear.
Being a woman is also expensive. Along with paying $65 for a Victoria’s Secret bra to make the “girls” look good, we have to constantly purchase makeup, clothes and shoes – and $7 for a box of tampons, seriously? Don’t even get me started about our monthly gift of Mother Nature, also known as “leave me alone.”
Each store at the mall is calling our name. It’s not our fault we are all broke. Last year’s jeans won’t cut it, but your boyfriend probably is still wearing the same Levi’s from high school. And those five-inch heels we are supposed to wear to make our legs look longer and more sophisticated, are like walking on stilts and just asking for blisters. I would love to kick-it in Jordans for the night.
Put more than two women in a room and you’re guaranteed to get chocolate, wine and tears. Women are emotional, crazy creatures. We hold grudges, steal each other’s boyfriends and no one can ever guess what we’re thinking. “No, I’m fine,” really means, “Do something.” Women don’t even understand other women.
Men are much more easygoing than women. Offend a man, he’ll get over it. Offend a woman, all her friends will hate you.
Roles reversed, being a guy isn’t all that easy. They are the ones that have to deal with women. Each holiday, men have to take out a mortgage. Plus, men have to deal with the rejection of women on a daily basis.
Obviously there are pros and cons to both genders and not all women fit the stereotype. The second-grade phrase still holds some truth – girls rule and boys drool.
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12 Comments
Is this supposed to be satire? If it’s not, it’s bullshit.
Even if it was satire, it’d be terrible satire. It’s incredible what counts as content in this newspaper.
So you spend several paragraphs talking about how being a woman sucks and, as if that weren’t enough, undermine your whole ill informed points by saying “Well guys are bad too.” This is an atrociously offensive column that assumes all women are the glitter and guy-obsessed shopaholics that ad executives portray them as.
It is ignorant people like this that hold our gender back. I am bewildered.
So this column has more “cons” in it than anything else. I really hope this isn’t serious.
As a woman, I am offended by this article. Boo, CMLife, for publishing this crap.
CMLife, please take this off of your website. It’s an embarrassment to the university. In fact, I think that you should issue an apology for even publishing this in the first place.
I find this article extremely offensive, an i am a man!
8 people comment on a 2 week old article within 30 minutes of each other? I’m SURE that’s just a coincidence.
Kevin, it’s probably a group of CMU Women for Obama, that was sitting around the dorm watching “The View” this morning on TV.
“The View” is the worst show on television.
Or, they could be the Sandra Fluke Fan Club.
This is truly disappointing and really offensive. CM Life should retract it and issue an apology.
dear cm-life
If you’re going to assign someone to write an article concerning gender roles, please, please at least require them to do some research on the topic to back up their statements. Just because someone is of a specific gender doesn’t make them the spokesperson for that whole group.
It’s exteremly sad to see a female fail so miserably at talking about her own gender by completely generalizing womens’ experiences and agree with idoitic stereotypes that are clearly not true.
Please fire her, she is stupid. Or make her read an actual empirical article on the topic.