ADVICE: Seven things to never say on a first date

1. “My ex always used to …”

No one cares what your ex used to do. You’re on a date with a new person who only cares about you. Not your stories of happiness or tragedy with the loser you’re no longer with.

2. “Can I kiss you?”

Don’t ask this! It’s awkward. It’s weird. It makes me not want to kiss you. Just do it and don’t ask questions. You’ll reap the benefits.

3. “Who are you texting?”

Texting on a date is rude to begin with, but don’t ask your date who they are talking to. It’s intrusive and a little I-am-going-to-stalk-you-in-your-sleep bat crazy.

4. “What do you want to do tomorrow?”

It’s not OK to assume this person wants to hangout with you tomorrow, too. You can ask “what are you doing tomorrow?” but don’t go ahead and assume they’re going to be your pal tonight and tomorrow.

5. “We don’t need to tip, right?”

The way you treat the wait staff on a date shows how you treat humanity. Don’t be that person and skimp on a tab.  Respect your waiter, and your date will respect you.

6. “I need to get home to watch ‘The Bachelor.’”

Keep your love for “The Bachelor” a total secret; especially on a first date. Watching “The Bachelor” puts you into the category of “I’m scared of being single forever.”

7. “My mom is waiting up for me.”

This might not apply to many college students, but saying your mom won’t go to sleep until she knows you’re home is like putting yourself in a time machine and flying back to high school. If that’s the real reason you need to get home early, make up a better reason.

And the one thing to always say on a first date: Thank you.