COLUMN: Interest rates on student loans not high enough
For anyone unaware, the interest rate on student loans will be doubling to 6.8 percent starting July 1.
This means, in spite of tuition rising faster than the price of an elephant tusk soaked in gasoline, it will be even more expensive to go to college and get an education.
There have been protests, petitions and plenty of tears shed, but in the end, it's only right that higher interest rates stick.
I would argue the interest rates on student loans aren't high enough.
Think about it: What has traditionally been the most vulnerable group of people? The ones most likely to be duped by those shrewder and savvier? The answer is young people.
And since the youth are the most easily exploited, it only makes sense groups that give student loans should be able to make higher profits.
Any steak-eating, flag-waving, terrorist-hating, red-blooded American knows the American dream is to make as much money as possible by whatever means necessary. It's capitalism at its finest. The free market. The invisible hand. Adam Smith, the man behind the system, was against monopolies and exploitation, but what did he know? This is the land of the free.
People will always be going to college. They've been told they have to by the very politicians that are going to let the interest rate go up. That's the beauty of it all; everybody is brainwashed into thinking they need a college education. Loan rates increase, and then everybody important makes money.
The best part; there's no way out for these poor kids. Even if one declares bankruptcy, his student debt remains. For lenders, it's a risk-free enterprise.
The only problem now is the interest rates are not high enough. The executives of lending groups supplying student loans have come so close to achieving the American dream of making piles of money, and who are the members of Congress to deny them what they deserve? Everyone should get a shot at the top (as long as they have rich parents).
It sickens me that the top shots are being denied what they obviously deserve. They work hard. Much harder than students do.
Anybody protesting high loan interest rate is simply jealous of the accomplishments of the executives more entitled and harder working than them.
So, I implore Congress to raise the interest rate even more. The higher, the better. We want our liberal arts majors to be paying so much back in monthly payments that they are forced to take to the streets to beg for a little bit of bread. We want them so bogged down in debt that they lose sleep at night thinking about how underwater they are.
That'll teach them to try to better themselves.
