HOROSCOPES: April 25 - Eternity
Hinted at by his aura and confirmed by his birth certificate, soon-to-be-former Student Life Editor Andrew Dooley is a Scorpio, which is irrelevant, because astrology is seriously ridiculous. You should spend more time doing something useful, like learning how to make soft boiled eggs. Also, he's about to graduate from college in barely more than a week. Thanks for playing along.
Capricorn: Dec. 22 – Jan. 19– AND SO WE TALKED ALL NIGHT ABOUT THE REST OF OUR LIVES WHERE WE'RE GONNA BE WHEN WE TURN TWENTY FIVE
Aquarius: Jan. 20 – Feb. 18– I KEEP THINKING TIMES WILL NEVER CHANGE KEEP ON THINKING THINGS WILL ALWAYS BE THE SAME BUT WHEN WE LEAVE THIS YEAR, WE WON'T BE COMING BACK NO MORE HANGING OUT 'CAUSE WE'RE ON A DIFFERENT TRACK AND IF YOU GOT SOMETHING THAT YOU NEED TO SAY
Pisces: Feb. 19 – March 20– YOU BETTER SAY IT RIGHT NOW 'CAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE ANOTHER DAY CAUSE WE'RE MOVING ON AND WE CAN'T SLOW DOWN THESE MEMORIES ARE PLAYING LIKE A FILM WITHOUT SOUND AND I KEEP THINKING OF THAT NIGHT IN JUNE I DIDN'T KNOW MUCH OF LOVE
Aries: March 21 – April 20– BUT IT CAME TOO SOON AND THERE WAS ME AND YOU AND THEN WE GOT REAL COOL STAY AT HOME TALKING ON THE TELEPHONE WITH ME WE'D GET SO EXCITED, WE'D GET SO SCARED LAUGHING AT OURSELVES THINKING LIFE'S NOT FAIR
AND THIS IS HOW IT FEELS
Xla'rto8833091squeam: ???? – The Future – Zantoss, we are so glad you have waited for our instructions for your return. BE READY BY THE WATERTOWER ON MAY 7 WITH YOUR TRANSPONDER BEACON. IN JKXTHRASS WE TRUST.
Taurus: April 21 – May 20 – AS WE GO ON WE REMEMBER ALL THE TIMES WE HAD TOGETHER AND AS OUR LIVES CHANGE COME WHATEVER WE WILL STILL BE FRIENDS FOREVER
Gemini: May 21 – June 21 – But really, what's up with parking on campus? Those reverse diagonal spots must have been the result of a decade-long search for something much infuriating than parallell parking. Congrats, CMU! Number one in innovation!
Cancer: June 22 – July 22– SO IF WE GET THE BIG JOBS AND WE MAKE THE BIG MONEY WHEN WE LOOK BACK NOW WILL OUR JOKES STILL BE FUNNY? (yes. yes they will.) WILL WE STILL REMEMBER EVERYTHING WE LEARNED IN SCHOOL? STILL BE TRYING TO BREAK EVERY SINGLE RULE?
Leo: July 23 – Aug. 22– WILL LITTLE BRAINY BOBBY BE THE STOCKBROKER MAN? CAN HEATHER FIND A JOB THAT WON'T INTERFERE WITH HER TAN? I KEEP, I KEEP THINKING THAT IT'S NOT GOODBYE KEEP ON THINKING IT'S A TIME TO FLY AND THIS IS HOW IT FEELS
Virgo: Aug. 23 – Sept. 22– LA, LA, LA, LA YEAH, YEAH, YEAH LA, LA, LA, LA WE WILL STILL BE FRIENDS FOREVER WILL WE THINK ABOUT TOMORROW LIKE WE THINK ABOUT NOW? CAN WE SURVIVE IT OUT THERE? CAN WE MAKE IT SOMEHOW? (SOMEHOW?) I GUESS I THOUGHT THAT THIS WOULD NEVER END AND SUDDENLY IT'S LIKE WE'RE WOMEN AND MEN
Libra: Sept. 23 – Oct. 22 – WILL THE PAST BE A SHADOW THAT WILL FOLLOW US 'ROUND? WILL THESE MEMORIES FADE WHEN I LEAVE THIS TOWN I KEEP, I KEEP THINKING THAT IT'S NOT GOODBYE KEEP ON THINKING IT'S A TIME TO FLY AS WE GO ON WE REMEMBER ALL THE TIMES WE HAD TOGETHER AND AS OUR LIVES CHANGE COME WHATEVER WE WILL STILL BE FRIENDS FOREVER
Scorpio: Oct. 23 – Nov. 21 – AS WE GO ON WE REMEMBER ALL THE TIMES WE HAD TOGETHER AND AS OUR LIVES CHANGE COME WHATEVER WE WILL STILL BE FRIENDS FOREVER
Sagittarius: Nov. 22 – Dec. 21 – AS WE GO ON WE REMEMBER ALL THE TIMES WE HAD TOGETHER AND AS OUR LIVES CHANGE COME WHATEVER WE WILL STILL BE FRIENDS FOREVER
