COLUMN: The trials and errors of holiday break
What would holiday break be without going home to mom and dad and your old bedroom hosting your twin-sized mattress and Winnie the Pooh sheets?
You walk in your room and notice more purchases your mom was trying to hide from dad than the items that made up your childhood.
But that doesn't matter because the amount of sleep about to take place was enough to make you grin for days. Even if the bed was twin-sized.
After getting a nice 13.5 hours of sleep, you’re awakened by your dad listening to the TV just a little too loudly. Haven’t you remembered? He’s getting old.
You open the refrigerator door, and white doves practically fly out and an R. Kelly song plays. Food: actual substance that was made to be eaten and enjoyed. Are those cheesy potatoes? You don’t know; you just put them down your throat without breathing.
A nice cycle of eating, sleeping and watching TV goes by just to be followed by another round of eat, sleep, TV. Some GTL (gym, tan, laundry); you EST.
It’s time to get the shopping done.
But that means going to stores where people you know might be. Better put on the clean pair of sweatpants for this one.
Walking into the mall you say to yourself, “I hate seeing people from high sch…” Oh, hi! Dammit, he saw me, too.
An awkward couple minutes go by discussing why you’re at the store, how life is going well, and you’re both too busy to talk about anything else and say goodbye.
Awkward running-into-people-from-high-school conversations are sometimes just as bad as being pinned next to your uncle for hours at the dinner table, saying things like “how’s school?” 87 times before you go home.
You don’t know how school is. You haven’t been to it in weeks, and you are obviously sitting there right now. And when he asks you again, the answer will still be “good.”
Back at home, you stay in your pajamas until they reek of laziness and bliss. You get yelled at to do something, but you say the next episode of “Girls” is on. Priorities, mom.
But there’s always one thing that makes going home the best thing since not being home: you get to cuddle and be kissed for days by your dog.
With all of the family time, dog time and sleep time, it sure does remind us what is important in life and who and what will always be waiting for us just a car ride away.