COLUMN: High school skinny not a myth


Ever have those days where it’s a struggle to get your jeans on?

I’m talking when you jump up and down, throw in some squats and sometimes ask your roommate to get the zipper while you hold the button into place.

Well, when this happens to me, one thing comes to mind: Being high school skinny.

I grew up hearing my mom and aunts say it all the time: “Oh God, I wish I was high school skinny.”

And I always thought to myself, “High school skinny? I will never get bigger after high school."

OK, back to the squeezing into jeans part.

High school skinny is a thing. It is one of the worst things ever, and I blame it on college.

All of the peanut butter sandwiches, pints of beer and nights with no sleep are catching up with me, and, apparently, my butt.

All along, I thought it was a myth. It is just something old people say to make themselves feel better about wearing a larger jean size than when they were 16.

But it’s true! You will never be high school skinny again, unless you maintain your diet perfectly or have crazy, awesome genetics. In which case, God bless you.

I think the only thing left from high school that fits are my shoes. OK, and hopefully some sweatpants and faded T-shirts. Everything else can be put into a box labeled “Those were the days” or “Damn, I want that bod back.”

From running at softball practice five days a week to doing pirouette after pirouette in dance class, I was always on the move in high school.

Now, walking across campus to class is a struggle. Especially, if it’s snowing.

With only six weeks left until summer (holy crap, bikini season), my goal is to get back to my high school shape.

It’s time to think more about what I am eating and how I am moving, rather than ordering another pint at the bar and having Jimmy John's delivered to my door at 2 a.m.

Because the last thing I want to be saying 10 years from now is “Damn, I wish I was college skinny.”

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