COLUMN: Breaking up with Facebook


Facebook and I broke up a couple years ago.

I would be lying if I said I did not stay awake some nights thinking about what went wrong.

I’ve been tempted to rekindle our relationship by typing in that sweet, six-digit password we created together when I was 15. As we all know, you can never really forget your first time.

Although thoughts of curing my boredom by crawling back to it still gnaw at me, I cannot devote my life to it again. It drained me of energy and wasted my time more than it was worth.

We spent nearly five years together, and I wouldn't trade that time for the world. Facebook even helped me through a rough breakup with Myspace. But I have since matured and have become a different person, stronger and more independent.

Let’s face it, Facebook, our relationship was unhealthy. You were very possessive and even stalked me sometimes.

Remember the day I had to study for a big exam, but instead, you insisted I spend all my time with you?

I went to the coffee shop to get away, but you followed me there. I went to the library, but sure enough, I could not shake you.

Don’t give me that face, Facebook, you know exactly what I am talking about. Don’t try to tell me our broken relationship was my fault. You’ve always had a knack for making me feel bad.

Every day after work, I would come to your home page, and you would tell me how everybody else is better than me. Status after status would imply my inferiority to others.

“Megan is getting married,” you would say. “Jordan is having a party for his acceptance to Harvard.”

I was never good enough for you. I was scared of living without you. After all, we had the same circle of friends, and you introduced me to so many different people.

But now I know how fake a lot of them really were. They didn’t care about me. They just wanted to talk about themselves.

I’ve also been hearing some rumors, Facebook. Rumors about you spying on others, invading privacy and working with some corrupt institutions. Soon, everyone will see past your attractive interface and realize your conniving ways.

And please don’t worry about me, Facebook. I have been tweeting around with someone else, and things are getting pretty serious.

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