2008 Woodie Awards
Scandal for NY governor
By: Brent McDermott
Issue date: 3/12/08 Section: Voices
Congratulations! You've been inducted to the Political Sex Scandal Hall of Fame! I know you are probably worried about your job security, but look on the bright side, you are now part of elite company.
Just 16 months after being sworn in as the 54th governor of New York, you've been able to solidify your legacy as a tough-talking Democrat whose libido has expensive taste. Spending $4,300 for two hours with "Kristen" is a baller move. After perusing her employer's Web site, the "Emporer's Club," I can see why you were a regular, "Client-9."
I've gotta be honest, your record as NY Attorney General probably isn't going to help you. Righteously denouncing a prostitution ring you busted in '04 is going to bite you in the butt. Remember? You said, "This was a sophisticated and lucrative operation with a multi-tiered management structure, it was, however, nothing more than a prostitution ring."
Being known as a "difficult" client among the Emporer's Club personnel is bad PR, Eliot. These girls are saying that you would "ask… to do things that, like, you might not think were safe." Being tough on the Republican controlled state legislature is one thing, this is something entirely different.
Listen, Eliot, you are not the first politico to get caught misbehaving sexually, and you certainly won't be the last. This situation could be much worse. At least you weren't caught playing footsies with an undercover cop in a men's bathroom stall (Sen. Larry Craig, R-ID), or sending dirty instant messages to teenage House pages (Rep. Mark Foley, R-FL).
Politicos and whores go together like French fries and ketchup. Sen. David Vitter (R-LA) admitted indulging in the services of the notorious "D.C. Madam" in July. Rep. Randy "Duke" Cunningham got "laid" by a group of prostitutes in a Hawaiin luxury suit in '03.
I know what you are thinking, Eliot - all those men you mentioned are either in prison, out of office, or on their way out next election. Yes, this is true. But they are Republicans.
Democrats are notorious for surviving sex scandals.
For God's sake, the party's father, Thomas Jefferson, also fathered children with Sally Hemings, a slave on his Virginia plantation. Bill Clinton brought Washington to its knees with his affair with White House intern, Monica Lewinsky. If you play your cards right, Spitzer, this whole thing could blow over.
Even if you are forced to resign, you could always become an author … or priest. In 2004, former New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevy (D) went public with a homosexual affair with his security adviser after a harassment suit was filed. McGreevy lost his job, but wrote, "The Confession," a New York Times Best Seller, and found a job as an Episcopalian priest.
I know your feelings must be hurt after Hillary Clinton removed your name for her list of endorsers. But isn't it great to be in the Hall of Fame?
Yours Truly,
Brent McDermott, Political Junkie
Just 16 months after being sworn in as the 54th governor of New York, you've been able to solidify your legacy as a tough-talking Democrat whose libido has expensive taste. Spending $4,300 for two hours with "Kristen" is a baller move. After perusing her employer's Web site, the "Emporer's Club," I can see why you were a regular, "Client-9."
I've gotta be honest, your record as NY Attorney General probably isn't going to help you. Righteously denouncing a prostitution ring you busted in '04 is going to bite you in the butt. Remember? You said, "This was a sophisticated and lucrative operation with a multi-tiered management structure, it was, however, nothing more than a prostitution ring."
Being known as a "difficult" client among the Emporer's Club personnel is bad PR, Eliot. These girls are saying that you would "ask… to do things that, like, you might not think were safe." Being tough on the Republican controlled state legislature is one thing, this is something entirely different.
Listen, Eliot, you are not the first politico to get caught misbehaving sexually, and you certainly won't be the last. This situation could be much worse. At least you weren't caught playing footsies with an undercover cop in a men's bathroom stall (Sen. Larry Craig, R-ID), or sending dirty instant messages to teenage House pages (Rep. Mark Foley, R-FL).
Politicos and whores go together like French fries and ketchup. Sen. David Vitter (R-LA) admitted indulging in the services of the notorious "D.C. Madam" in July. Rep. Randy "Duke" Cunningham got "laid" by a group of prostitutes in a Hawaiin luxury suit in '03.
I know what you are thinking, Eliot - all those men you mentioned are either in prison, out of office, or on their way out next election. Yes, this is true. But they are Republicans.
Democrats are notorious for surviving sex scandals.
For God's sake, the party's father, Thomas Jefferson, also fathered children with Sally Hemings, a slave on his Virginia plantation. Bill Clinton brought Washington to its knees with his affair with White House intern, Monica Lewinsky. If you play your cards right, Spitzer, this whole thing could blow over.
Even if you are forced to resign, you could always become an author … or priest. In 2004, former New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevy (D) went public with a homosexual affair with his security adviser after a harassment suit was filed. McGreevy lost his job, but wrote, "The Confession," a New York Times Best Seller, and found a job as an Episcopalian priest.
I know your feelings must be hurt after Hillary Clinton removed your name for her list of endorsers. But isn't it great to be in the Hall of Fame?
Yours Truly,
Brent McDermott, Political Junkie
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