'I got your back': Stan and Rene Shingles' love story

Sophie Paar

Stan and Rene Shingles share a moment, Monday, Feb. 6, in Ronan Hall. The campus leaders have been married since 1992.

The day after Valentine’s Day, Feb. 15, 1986, Rene Shingles came to her sorority sisters’ party wearing a beautiful dress and makeup, with her hair done.

She was there to look for a boy who smiled at her in a hallway of Illinois State University (ISU). Stan Shingles asked his friend about a girl who impressed him. Her name was Rene and she was going to the party.

Stan and Rene met that night, and the connection they made has lasted decades.

Stan is assistant vice president of Student Affairs at Central Michigan University. Rene is a faculty member in the School of Rehabilitation and Medical Sciences. Stan and Rene have been working at the university for over 30 years. They have been together for 37 years and married for 31.

“It’s been an interesting life,” Stan said. “It’s been a full life.”

Stan and Rene met in Normal, Illinois. Rene was getting her master’s degree at ISU and working as an athletic trainer. Stan was studying part-time and working as a program director in a community center.

Love at first sight

Stan said he attended a football game and saw Rene there for the first time.

“It was very uncommon at that time to see a Black woman working as an athletic trainer, especially for football,” Stan said.

He began noticing her around campus, but never got a chance to talk to her. Stan said he decided to ask his friend, Kevin, who worked with Rene, about her. Kevin offered to invite them both to a party.

When he invited her to the party, Rene said Kevin mentioned Stan seeing her in the hallway.

“Maybe I need to figure out how to get there,” Renee said about the party.

She decided to go to the party, but their mutual friend couldn’t come, and Rene worried Stan would not recognize her.

At some point that evening, Renee went to use the bathroom and saw Stan standing outside the door.

“10 cents to get in, $10 to get out,” Stan said to Rene.

Rene said she did not have $10, so Stan said she had to dance with him.

“It was a party. It was really loud," Stan said. "We danced, we talked a little bit, and she gave me her phone number.”

That same week, Stan said he called Rene and invited her to come see his basketball game. After that, they decided to have lunch together.

The first date

Stan said they had their first official date in Red Lobster.

“I just remember sitting across from her and she ordered crab legs,” Stan said. “And she was sitting there trying to eat crab legs with a fork."

They talked about their career plans. Rene went to intern in South Carolina, after she graduated in 1986.

“She started talking about ‘I want to do this, I want to do this’ … several times I said (to myself), ‘Oh, she does all of those things and she's probably going to be pretty successful,” Stan said. “That's pretty ambitious.”

Stan and Rene continued dating, and in April 1986, they went to Chicago, Stan’s home city, to see a Luther Vandross concert. Rene liked Chicago. Being from North Carolina, it was her first time there, and she also met Stan’s family during their visit.

Courtesy of Stan Shingles. Stan and Rene Shingles in 1986 in Chicago.

“I really hit it off with his mom,” Rene said. “She reminded me a little bit of my mom, so we had really good conversations. It was good.”

Later that spring, Stan drove Rene to North Carolina, and in South Carolina, she started her internship.

“He's been supportive of me, because we've been together since I've been in graduate school. He knew what I wanted to do along the way, and has supported me along the way in those things. (He) has turned down opportunities because it was an opportunity for me at that particular place, and vice versa,” Rene said.

Six years of long-distance

Rene and Stan did not have internet or cell phones at the time they were dating. Rene said they used house and office phones, but it was expensive to call. She had to call after 11 p.m. when rates became cheaper. She said they talked for 15 to 20 minutes each time.

“We called, we talked regularly,” Rene said. “We wrote letters and cards. I still have every card he’s ever given me.”

After Rene finished her internship, she got a job at the University in Northern Iowa. Stan worked at the time at Northern Illinois University (NIU), and later came to CMU.

Rene said they visited each other and traveled together. For one spring break, they went to Orlando, Florida.

Rene said the distance helped her to get closer with their son, Lamar.

Rene said she met Lamar when he was 3 years old. She calls him, “a son of my heart”.

“I came into a father and son. They were a package deal,” Rene said. “I couldn't love him (Lamar) more.”

Lamar lived in Illinois, and on Rene’s way to visit Stan in Mount Pleasant, she picked Lamar up. Sometimes they drove with Rene’s friend, Angela.

Lamar is 40, and Rene and Stan have two grandchildren. Lamar went to CMU, where he met his wife. Rene said their friend and former road trip partner, Angela, was an officiant at Lamar's wedding.

After four years of dating and two years being engaged in a long-distance relationship, in 1992 Rene and Stan got married. Stan said they had a destination wedding with receptions in Illinois and North Carolina.

“We're getting married, and we'll figure out the career thing along the way,” Stan said.

“It's been an interesting life. It's been a full life.”

Stan Shingles, assistant Vice President of Student Affairs at Central Michigan University

Work and love balance

“Our careers are so important to us," Stan said. "I've seen a lot of our friends and colleagues who didn't make it in their marriage or in their relationship, because they didn't share the same understanding of how important those things (careers) are.”

Stan said they have always been supportive of each other's professional journey. For example, when they were still dating and Rene left to South Carolina, Stan finished his work in a community center and decided to study full time and get his master's degree.

“I was just sitting in my office and … I said, ‘I don't want to do this anymore. It's time for the next phase,’” Stan said. “I remember calling her (Rene) and you know, she said, ‘If that's what you want to do, go for it, I got your back.'”

Stan said it was important for him to have Rene’s support because his parent’s didn’t agree with his decision in the beginning.

Later, after Stan graduated, he received a phone call from CMU, where he was offered a position as assistant director for intramural sports. He said he called Rene and received her full support again. Stan started working at CMU in 1989.

“She goes, ‘Oh, Central Michigan, you know, had the first accredited sports medicine program.’ And of course, she learned that from her classes,” Stan said. “So now here's this historical connection of it.”

Stan said he thought that CMU might have an opportunity for Rene as well.

“We were building the Student Activity Center, because that was under construction, and that's what really piqued my interest was this was going to be about serving students,” Stan said. “It was gonna be student centered. We walked through campus, everybody was friendly. And in the back of my mind, I just kept saying, there could be an opportunity for Rene.”

After a couple of years, this turned to be true and Rene joined CMU’s faculty. Since then, the couple has always been together.

Rene said recently she remembered their first date, and things that they have accomplished together since.

“We were at home, having dinner and it was kind of this conversation of … we're looking to the light that happened, when we talked about that first date of ‘what do you want to do when you grow up,’” Rene said. “We have said, surpass that, Stan is now an assistant vice president, I became a department chair, as well … You look at those career milestones and go, ‘Wow, who would have thought that.’”

Rene said this Valentine’s Day they will spend together, at their home, relaxing.

“Some quiet time,” Rene said. “Figure out what we want to eat for dinner and have a nice evening.”