COLUMN: Greek life is not for me



When I was an impressionable youth, I formed my first opinions on Greek life while watching movies like "Animal House" and "Revenge of the Nerds."

The frat house was a place to pass out after a day of drunken exploits, and the sorority house was where all the half-naked pillow fights took place. College itself was an activity that got in the way of drinking and partying.

After five years at Central Michigan University, I have learned that Greek life is not just a never-ending Ke$ha song. "Animal House" and "Revenge of the Nerds" were based on inflated stereotypes, and many modern fraternities and sororities participate in community service activities and have standards for the academic achievement of their members.

Even with that in mind, I still don’t think Greek life sounds appealing.

Getting along with two or three other people of your choosing in an apartment for an entire school year is hard enough, so I can’t imagine trying to deal with a larger group of personalities in a sorority/fraternity house.

Also, I can’t imagine that a frat/sorority house is the best environment for doing. I’d feel like an antisocial recluse if I holed up in my room to do homework while everyone else was having fun. Sure, I could go to the library, but that would get old pretty quickly during the winter when there is eight inches of snow to trudge through.

With my luck, all of my major homework assignments would coincide with major parties, and my GPA would fall below the minimum standards of the fraternity. My frat brothers taking outdoor recreation classes would scoff at my academic ineptitude, and I’d be an outcast, cursed to aimlessly wander around campus like Odysseus before finding another home.

Hypothetical scenarios aside, I think I’ve always been too introverted for Greek life. As a transfer student from community college, I never lived in the dorms, but I imagine I would have really hated that environment. I only have a few really close friends, and I like to keep other acquaintances at a distance.

Greek Life would force me to be disingenuous. I’d have to call some person my “brother,” even though I probably wouldn’t recognize that same person in the grocery store 10 years down the line. I’d also have to “pledge” to something, an activity I don’t enjoy, unless there’s an American flag involved.

Perhaps, if I ever make enough money, I can form a Greek organization for introverts. Every person would have their own room for doing homework, and socialization would not be encouraged. On second thought, that sounds kind of like a prison, so, never mind. If you’re an introvert like me, just find an apartment.


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