COLUMN: Stop hating other women
I remember when I hated women.
I was one of those women who "got along better with men." Women were simply "too much drama."
Looking back on my ignorant ways, I get it. It's a lot easier to be "one of the guys," especially in a world that revolves so much around men.
Becoming an adult woman did some cool things for me. I realize now that my thoughts about women and "drama" weren't me being above other women. I was no special snowflake.
It was internalized misogyny.
This is when a person has sexist actions or attitudes toward someone of the same gender, and it stems from the inadequate feelings we might have about our own gender because of the way it's viewed by the rest of the world.
It makes sense.
This society works very hard to pit women against each other whether it's for looks, jobs or relationships. In truth, the things we tear others down about are the insecurities we have about ourselves. It's an elementary school lesson.
It's very hard to get rid of feelings of internalized misogyny. It's pretty much all we have ever been taught about other women—to be in constant competition. However, there is an alternative. Instead of criticizing other women for "having it all," we can cheer them on. We can take on the attitude of "I don't shine if you don't shine."
Women have enough built up against them in our patriarchal society to have the added pressure of being in a socially-constructed competition with each other. When you see a woman with a badass outfit, adorable relationship and an awesome job (basically Beyoncé), stop hating on her. Be her friend.
I remember always giving rude side glances to overly-confident women. Then I realized I was struggling to be confident myself. I grew up some, got a little wiser and began interacting with intelligent, confident and assertive women every day.
That confidence is contagious and inspirational. Now, when I see a woman who is seemingly not confident, I try to help build up her shine.
After all, we are in this together. It would be a shame not to cheer on our own team.
Shine on, ladies.
