Slut-shaming is a hallmark of an ignorant, uninformed mind
Too often I catch myself applauding this era for being one of liberation, where individuality and sexual freedom are celebrated. Usually, soon I am quickly shot down by little reminders.
I had a reality check at one of those apartment parties where everyone gossips under Christmas lights with mainstream rap music filling the air.
A stranger said, “I’m pretty sure she’s a hoe,” nodding to a girl giggling over a fraternity brother who had just finished shotgunning his Keystone beer.
The stranger made his claim as though he truly believed that with every suggestive sway of the hips, flip of the hair and press of a kiss she became less of a woman and more of an object — a joke.
This isn’t rare. At colleges across the country, slut shaming — or the act of shaming a woman for embracing her sexual independence — happens every day. It needs to stop.
He continued on, saying she stumbles into the Deerfield apartment regularly, finding someone to cozy up to.
It was heartbreaking to imagine the light he saw her in, as though by pursuing the means of her own sexuality was somehow degrading to her personhood.
Who was she? Because she’s obviously much more than just “a girl at the party.”
She is a woman who might have arrived to Central Michigan University with massive ambition. She might long to conquer the world with an open mind and a free heart, seeking to experience fortune, success and independence in the most exhilarating fashion.
I personally know of women who enjoy sex and also possess intellect, wanting to make the world a better place.
The sexually-liberated women I know are philanthropists, activists and loving spirits who aspire to professions like politics, medicine, the literary arts, engineering and more.
Sex happens. One-night stands occur. Hookup culture is real — yet slut shaming still exists as though these were taboo.
I know of people who practice sexual liberation as a way of reclaiming their bodies after being devastated by sexual aggression, assault and toxic relationships.
For me, intimacy can combine with an enormous love for connectivity and the uniqueness of people, and is used to celebrate individual value and passion.
Because it isn’t framed by a white-picket fence allusion of fairytale love and everlasting devotion, it is criticized. It is mocked.
So next time you see the free spirited-girl owning her sexuality, remember — it takes two to tango, to have sex. Don’t sit by and laugh, brush it off or let slut-shaming happen.
Call them out. Stand up for each other. Respect that safe, mutual decisions are something to be honored.
At Slut Walk 2017, a protest against rape culture, slut shaming and street harassment, my friend carried a sign that said “Your ignorance is more scandalous than my promiscuity.”
It’s a truth I hold dear to my heart.
I would much better prefer to be known as being messy, wild or a slut than small-minded.
Wouldn’t you?
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