It's Tuesday, just before 7 a.m., and everyone in their right mind is asleep.
Outside, it's cold and dark, and a thin layer of frost coats the windshield of every car.
Even most insomniacs can find within themselves the strength to crash through this early hour, easily the deadest hour of a college student's day. The bars closed five hours ago, the sun won't come up for another 30 minutes. The Teletubbies don't even come on until 8.
Yet tucked away in the back of Moore Hall, Matthew Caruana is going through last minute preparations for his morning radio show, set to go on air on 91.5-FM (WMHW) any minute now. He's been there since 6; his partner, Dave Olshaske, is just now getting to the studio. "You really do need to get here earlier," says Caruana, laughing.
They quickly brief themselves and go over the loose format for the day's show. A copy of the Mr. Rogers theme song Caruana was able to gank from the Internet puts a smile on both their faces, as does a goofball story Olshaske was able to crib off the wire of monkeys pelting motorists on I-65. "Yes! Monkeys kick ass," says Caruana.
Their question of the day revolves around "the best way to spend $25"; their tip of the day from ehow.com is how to make yourself more attractive to the opposite sex.
And with that, the Big Matt and Dave Show takes the air.
Adorned in a "Greetings from Asbury Park" T-shirt, Caruana opens up the mic, wishing a good morning to all seven of his potential listeners. Olshaske goes on to tease a news-of-the-weird story he'll read later concerning an Ohio turkey testicle festival. Both make their first plug for phone calls that will never come.
Traditionally, morning shows are the pinnacle of the radio world. That's where the big bucks and advertising revenues lie, as well as the fame (see Howard Stern, or, a little closer to home, Drew & Mike). Radio stations build their image around their morning show, reason being they have a captive audience of people in their car on their way to work.
But in the thankless world of college radio, no one gets less love than the morning show. Even the graveyard shift, made infamous to a new generation by David Silver and Donna Martin, has a devoted audience of kids who a) can't sleep and b) actually want to hear bad alt-rock bands at 4 a.m. But the morning show's core audience is a bunch of sleepyheads who may or may not be able to comprehend the 8-10 seconds of the show they hear between hits of the snooze bar.
But that, and the fact that they're lucky to get two callers over the span of their two hour show, matters little to Big Matt and Dave, who were struck with the inspiration to do the show one night at the bar.
"We decided to do it at quarter to two at the Blackstone one night," says Caruana, a Livonia senior. "We thought it would be fun because we knew we could talk a lot."
The format for morning shows is much looser than afternoons; whereas talk sets in the afternoon, more often than not, revolve around the bands in rotation, mornings are free to do whatever. Plus, morning shows offer 4-5 minute talk sets, whereas afternoons allow for only 2 minutes, tops. Which allows for much more stories about monkeys pelting motorists on I-65.
Thus, Olshaske says that a lot more preparation is involved for a morning show than for an afternoon one. "It may not look like it, but it is," he assures. Indeed, all week he and Caruana gather assorted material, and meet on Monday afternoon to lay out a rough sketch of the show.
But during this, their third show, the best bit comes just before it goes on the air. The segment is regular, (they read a scene from a popular film), but which film to do is decided just minutes before airtime. Reading (acting?), Caruana adapts a scarily accurate British accent while Olshaske fumbles a Baaston drawl to the point where it's unrecognizable. The goal is for a caller to correctly identify the film from which they're reading; the line about going out and eating a bunch of caramels gives it away for anyone thrown off by the accents.
The moment of truth comes about a minute later when the phone lights up. Eureka, a caller!
Both Caruana and Olshaske, Muskegon senior, are veterans at 91.5, with three and two years notched on their belts, respectively. Both are broadcasting majors with advertising minors. And neither are morning people.
Olshaske laughingly refers to their show as "a train wreck," but admits that after three weeks, it's getting better.
"No matter what, we laugh, and I guess that's all that matters," says Olshaske.
"It's OK, it's improving," says Caruana. "We just try and have fun with it, and maybe entertain a few people."
Due to their early-rise, post-show naps are often required for the two DJs. A few days later, Caruana and Olshaske listen to the tape of their show, analyzing what works, what doesn't, and noting what they can improve upon. Then Tuesday morning at 7, they do it all again.
But the biggest goal they have for the show is not up to them, but rather, you. Says Caruana, "We want more people to call."
The Big Matt and Dave show airs from 7-9 a.m. Tuesdays on Modern Rock 91.5 FM (WMHW).