AX + BY = Just shoot me already
I hate algebra. A lot.
I've always felt this way. Algebra homework is repetitive: the same problem over and over again, just with different numbers each time you solve it. It bored me to death in high school and still does today.
"Who bleeping cares?" I groan each time the poor couple leaves their house going opposite directions at a different rate of speed. How far apart they are after 20 minutes is totally irrelevant to me. I'm interested in what made them bolt in opposite directions in the first place. Did they get into a fight? Was the house wired to explode in an insurance scam? Are they driving sports cars?
I'm serious. Needless to say, my math teachers have never really liked me very much.
As a kid, I got basic arithmetic. Who didn't? I think I remember starting this god-awful thing called algebra in 8th grade. I didn't get it then and I barely get it now. I graduated - somehow. I even got an associate's degree.
But if you think that meant I was done with algebra, think again. This horrible blight has stalked me with relentless tenacity. It was waiting for me in Mount Pleasant, laughing maniacally as I rolled into town. "Ellison thinks he escaped - buwahahahaaaa!"
In my head, algebra has beady red eyes and a handlebar mustache. He's staring at me as I type this. You can run, he's mouthing at me, but you can't hide forever.
I guess like most monkeys on your back, this one's my own fault. Math skills are foundational. You must build the basement before you build the first floor, and so on. I never built the basement.
There's an unstated assumption here that needs to be addressed, though. Why build the stupid skyscraper at all? I'm not an architect; I'm a journalist. And I know you've heard this argument before - that everybody uses math - and I say: Yeah, but not everybody uses algebra.
I get the whole standardized education thing, and the concept of minimum requirements. Algebra users and fans argue that it teaches an important kind of deductive logic. Fair enough. I'm not saying it's not useful, just that certain career paths don't need it.
Call me lazy; deride me for not learning this when it was free in high school. Use this column to wipe your . chalkboard, but I have taken remedial algebra. I have taken intermediate and college algebra. I will NEVER like it, nor do well. I can't play the guitar, either. It's just the way it is.
