Out of the rabbit hole: Sexual Assault survivors share their story at Take Back the Night


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It started as a way to protest women's fear of walking at night.

In Belgium in 1976, women attending the International Tribunal on Crimes Against Women walked together, holding candles and protesting violence against women, triggering a worldwide movement recognized as Take Back the Night. It has since evolved into a movement that raises awareness of sexual aggression and empowers sexually assaulted survivors.

“Take Back the Night is an outlet that lets members of the community unitize against sexual violence,” Take Back the Night President and Leslie senior Amanda McLain said. "It raises consciousness of sexual violence and reaches a broad demographic of people. Seeing so many people turn out and stand up against these crimes gives me hope and helps support survivors.”

Central Michigan University's Take Back the Night organization has put on this event for more than 30 years in April in recognition of sexual awareness month. On Thursday night in Pearce Hall, the 2013 Take Back the Night began.

The event included three parts: guest speaker Nancy Donoval addressing those in attendance, followed by a 30-minute march to the Veterans Memorial Library in downtown Mount Pleasant, ending with a speak-out. Allegan senior Rachel McDaniel is a second-year Take Back the Night and Sexual Aggression Peer Advocates member who attended the entire event.

“Survivors get to share their stories in a safe place. They get to have their voices heard,” McDaniel said. “The guest speaker is going to share her own story, which not only shows her strength but will also be comforting for others to open up and know they aren’t alone.”

Opening the event, Nancy Donoval shared her story, "The Road to Shameless: A Survivor’s True Story of Rape and Recovery." Donoval’s story describes encounters and hardships she has had since she was 19 years old.

“I didn’t lose my virginity, it was stolen … I wish I could go back and tell my 19, 20, 21, 22, etc.-year old self that I did not have anything to prove to anyone or even myself,” she said. “To realize it wasn’t my fault, I had to put it into a sentence structure. I am the object; any noun can do any verb to me. I was the object, and it was not my fault. I had to acknowledge that I made poor judgments while not being at fault. I committed a foolish act, and he committed crime.”

As Donoval shared her story, she discussed the 34-year journey that has brought her to where she is today.

“It happens to anybody and everybody in different circumstances.  There are many stories with different journeys, but not everyone has an ending yet.” Donoval said. “I remember everything about that night. I remember what I wore, I remember what I ate for lunch, I remember saying 'yes' to go to his frat house; I remember the moment it went from sexual assault to rape, I remember him covering my mouth, I remember saying 'no,' and I remember that long, slow climb out of the rabbit hole. I remember everything.”

Donoval is a survivor that owns her story.

“We are brought up in a society that expects everyone to do it on their own, survive on their own, but when you have that word, who gets to hear it? The hardest thing to do is tell yourself," Donoval said. "I was concerned with whom to tell, but I needed to tell myself. No one gave me a handbook on how to handle it. This story tried to eat my life up, it tried to eat up all the other stories in my life and be the only story, but it's only one story in my life.”

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