Students offered dating advice by professional coach
After a recent breakup, Xander Zamm was more open than ever for tips and advice on the dating world.
The Rochester freshman's romantic struggles lead him to the Bovee University Center Rotunda, Monday, where renowned dating coach Adam LoDolce spoke to students on how to establish healthy relationships.
“I just came out of a relationship so I thought of the staff was really helpful," Zamm said.
Carly Mausolf, a junior from Sandusky, said she thought LoDolce's speech was interactive and relatable to the audience.
“He was really entertaining,” Mausolf said. “He engaged the audience, which was nice too.”
LoDolce traveled around the world giving dating advice. He is from Boston and wrote the book “Being Alone Sucks!,” which is available on Amazon.
The goal is for his clients, LoDolce said, is to go out and approach and flirt with people they’re attracted to. He said he’s seen a lot of awkward situations and he’s not a dating master, but that he wanted the audience to feel more confident.
LoDolce said whether you’re male, female, gay, straight or transgender, the tips he offered would apply.
Citing a survey that found that the top two fears people have are public speaking and rejection, LoDolce, said that fears hold us back in our lives.
“Imagine if that fear didn’t exist. Where might we be?,” LoDolce asked.
He challenged everyone in the room to participate in the “1-For-1 Challenge,” which requires that for every day someone is alive, they meet one new person. He said it’s important to make socializing a part of everyday life.
LoDolce said that anyone can be socially outgoing. He said people can work on their shyness. He suggested using outcome independence, instead of thinking far into the future when going up to someone and having a conversation.
“If something happens, awesome. If nothing happens, awesome,” LoDolce said.
He also pointed out that most people are narcissistic, so it’s not worth it to worry about what other people are thinking about you.
“Most people aren’t really paying attention to you,” LoDolce said.
LoDolce suggested obeying the “five minute rule.” He said that if someone comes up to you, you should give them at least five minutes of your time, barring any safety issues. LoDolce said most people judge others within two or three seconds of meeting them.
“You might just be surprised when you get to know them better,” LoDolce said.
LoDolce said people should take the initiative to meet others, and offered three “ice breaking” techniques.
The first is to simplify. LoDolce suggested going up to someone on campus and saying “Hey, I haven’t met you yet, my name’s blank.”
The next is observation. LoDolce suggested thinking to yourself, “What is different about this environment that I could comment on?”
The final technique is to be direct. Tell someone if you’re attracted to them and want to talk to them.
“It’s authentic. It’s real,” LoDolce said. “Just be real with people. People appreciate that.”
LoDolce also suggested that the audience “STEP Into the Vibe.” STEP is an acronym for smile, touch, eye contact and posture.
He said that confidence comes from success and success comes from practice, so he suggested that the audience actually put his tips to use in their everyday lives.
“Life is not about money,” LoDolce said. “Life is about relationships we create in our lives.”
LoDolce has two websites for dating training. SexyConfidence.com is for women and GoTalkToHer.com is for men.
