COLUMN: Stop saying 'It's a dangerous time to be a man' — it's not
It’s not a dangerous time to be a man.
Our president and other political figures have gone as far to say men should be worried because women have now have the power to destroy their lives and reputations.
The emergence of the #HimToo on Twitter and Facebook has people talking about how their sons and male friends are afraid to be alone with women. They claim men are having a difficult time navigating dates, attending social gatherings or even talking to women in general because of an unfounded fear women will falsely accuse them of sexual misconduct.
Essentially, they’re saying, “Men now have to be hyper-attentive to their interactions with women and be aware of getting a false impression that will lead to unwanted advances, because now women will actually say something.”
We men now have to face the daily reality almost every woman in America faces.
Ask your girlfriend, like I did, how many times they a day they monitor their smiles, arm position, laughs and words at work just so someone doesn’t get "the wrong impression."
I asked a few female friends how many times a drunk guy was overly aggressive with them, to the point they felt uncomfortable and left a party.
Maybe even ask your mom, like I did, if when she was in college and had to walk home late at night, how many times did she put her keys in between her fingers.
I can even tell you how many times women have been overly aggressive with me when I’ve been drunk – zero.
I can tell you exactly how many times I’ve felt scared walking home alone at night – zero.
There was even a story in Central Michigan Life about a student here at CMU, who was at a bar and had a drug slipped into her drink. She was then taken by a man, who she barely knew, to his house and then raped.
I can tell you how many times I’ve had to watch my drink at a party because someone might slip something into it, or even had that thought cross my mind – absolutely zero.
This notion that “it’s now a dangerous time to be a man” is ridiculous.
I’m not naïve, nor do I believe no woman will falsely accuse someone. Most major studies on rape accusations point to somewhere between 2 and 8 percent are false or unfounded. And if this is what some people are afraid of — reality paints a different picture.
A real accusation, with real evidence, didn’t even make it to court. Ian Elliot, CMU’s former Student Government Association President, was arrested, but never went to trial. He started a business and is walking free, while his accuser is still facing the damages of his actions.
There’s no danger of false accusations destroying men, or even real accusations.
Newly confirmed Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh was accused by three women of sexual misconduct. His history showed a pattern of heavy drinking and becoming overly aggressive when drunk and his college roommates and classmates confirmed as much about his behavior.
His nomination was never really ever in jeopardy and he was still confirmed despite of the allegations against him.
Actor/director James Franco has been accused by five women of sexually inappropriate and exploitative behavior. People on set of his movies and TV shows have corroborated the accusations against him.
Franco’s career is largely unaffected and he’s still at the top of Hollywood fame.
Our president was elected even after several women came forward to accuse him of sexual harassment. There’s literal evidence of him bragging about forcibly kissing and groping women on tape, of which he is accused.
He still enjoys large support. He’s still the president.
Men still control all major levers of government, industry, entertainment, news and politics. The system is still rigged in men’s favor.
I have to say guys: it is not, has not been, nor will it ever be a “dangerous time to be a man."
In the #MeToo era, men are not the victims. It's not a dangerous time to be a man.
It’s dangerous to be a man who has harassed or assaulted a woman.
It should be.