Understanding the different ways of communicating love can make for a stronger, healthier relationship
Communication is an essential skill — and it can only enrich any relationship.
It is important to know not only the ways you communicate, but also the ways others around you do.
Gary Chapman, author of “The Five Love Languages,” offers an insight into the ways we talk to each other.
The five languages are touch, affirmations, service, gifts and quality time.
Now before this column gets too gooey, I want to note this idea applies to other relationships and not just those of the romantic nature.
Knowing your primary language, as well as the language of your partner, can aid in better interaction.
These languages are largely self-explanatory.
If you are a “touch” person, it means you primarily communicate through touch and enjoy doing so.
You receive comfort when being touched by others in gestures such as hugs and holding hands.
Touch is a way for you to display emotions such as excitement, concern and sympathy.
If you are an “affirmations” person, you thrive on receiving nice comments about yourself, and provide others with compliments as well.
For you, romantic and platonic feelings are expressed best in a nice sentence.
“Service” people enjoy token favors from others, such as when a roommate picks you up from the bar without needing to.
You show you care by giving some of your energies to others.
Those who are “gifts” communicators enjoy giving to and receiving gifts from others, but it is not necessarily about the dollar value.
To you, a present infers the love and thoughtfulness put into choosing it.
Finally, those who identify with “quality time” thrive on spending moments with those they care about.
Knowing which way you communicate is important because it gives you insight into what your wants and needs are.
Knowing which way others around you communicate also is important, because it provides you with a framework of how they connect emotionally.
In a relationship, knowing your love languages, and especially those of your partner, can open the two of you into a deeper bond.
Chapman offers more information on these languages as well as an assessment of yours on his Web site.
Me, I am primarily an affirmations person.
I know the person I am dating is a gift communicator, because he bought me a whole ton of stuff last time he screwed up.
By giving gifts instead of utilizing other love languages, it is clear affirmation is not his first communication style.
When I want to communicate on a deeper level with him, I would consider both of our languages.
Eventually, I will. For now, I am just going to continue receiving gifts.
