COLUMN: You call it Valentine's Day, I call it dumb



Tuesday’s the big day.

The one day a year where girls hold their boyfriends to higher standards than normal and guys try to be cute and exceed them. They go out, spend money on flowers that will die in a week, chocolate that is overpriced and unnecessary stuffed animals in attempts to make their girl happy.

How dumb.

Suddenly everything red, pink and white makes me nauseous for a month straight the week after New Years.  Even when I had a significant other to share this glorious day with, I wasn’t into it.

I acted happy to see 12 roses in his hand followed by a nice dinner. But, did I really care? No.

Sounds harsh, but receiving those gifts from him was expected and forced by our culture. Receiving that on any other random day would have been great. On the one day a man is pretty much forced to act romantically, I couldn't care less.

Although, I always played along so I wasn’t the heartless one.

It’s a holiday that makes men act like the gentlemen they should be every day and girls another reason to be “so in love with love.” Combine the two and couples act like they need to go all out to make their love feel meaningful or something grand.

The only genuinely good part about the 14th day of February is the box Mr. UPS guy drops off at my house the week before.

My mom always calls me and acts coy about telling me to expect a box full of “mysterious items I forgot at home.”

This year I must’ve forgotten my heart-shaped pillow, heart-covered blanket and box of chocolates with a puppy on the cover resembling my own dog at home.

Seriously, mom, love you.

These are the only gifts I like because it’s coming from my mom; the one person who doesn’t need to buy me anything for a day resembling romantic love.

This leads to me why I am thankful for being single this year. There’s no need to pretend to be happy for forced gifts or think of some crazy stunt to do on the big night out. Hell, I can even sit in my pajamas all night and not worry about what he’ll like to see me dressed up in.

And it leaves more time for me to make inappropriate sentences out of those darn little candy conversation hearts.  Thanks again, mom.

If you’re being forced to celebrate this season due to a committed status some people call a relationship, that sucks.

But if you’re single and looking to piece together a great sentence from candy my mom sent me, you know how to reach me.

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone.


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