Rants & Raves
Rants and Raves out of an idiot's mouth on this Wednesday morning:
There have been some rumblings from my three loyal readers that my column is a little too negative. So since I am a man of the people, I have decided to have an equal number of rants and raves this week. I have labeled them in case you are scoring at home (or even if you are alone).
Rave: SportsCenter Plays of the Week. I do not have many highlights in my sad and pathetic life and sometimes those five minutes are the best part of my week.
Rant: The change in graphics of SportsCenter. I have a precious few stable items in my life and SportsCenter should be one of them. My life is already out of control given that I will soon be graduating and will then attempt to function in society (an item every teacher I have had since the third grade has said I will not achieve). The point is I do not need ESPN pulling this crap.
Rave: Opening Day at Tiger Stadium. For three hours nothing was wrong with sports, as the corner of Michigan and Trumbull hosted its last opening day.
Rant: The Tigers lost the opener to fall to 1-6. For the first six games the Tigers pitching was giving more runs than the Mexican water, and when they finally got a good pitching performance, their bats were dead.
Fact: Tigers all-time Opening Day record at the corner is 56-48.
Rave: WWF wrestling on Monday nights. Just the right mix of sex, violence and adult language to provide entertainment for my roommates and I.
Rant: Individuals who let professional wrestling control their lives. Get your pathetic ass out of the DX chat room and try to communicate with the civilized world.
Rave: "Frasier" in syndication. I had never really watched the show but I have seen some reruns recently and it is a hilarious show. It is no "Norm" but it is funny.
Rant: "Full House" in syndication. There is nothing cute about the Olsen twins and nothing funny about Bob Saget. I would rather watch Richard Simmons give Ed McMahon a sponge bath than listen to one more of Saget's jokes. I will not comment on the Olsen twins for the sake of good taste.
Rave: The team of Tony Thompson, Eric Stepaniak, Dan Foster and Papa Foster. These four proud individuals took first place at the Kimble Classic Golf Tournament. In my opinion this team of talented individuals is what golf is all about: Pride, Power, and Excellence!
Rant: Greg Norman playing second fiddle again at the Masters. I was rooting for this loser, but I have since given up hope. Some people just do not have the pride to be champions (see Rave above). Yet Norman, a loser, plays a very intricate part in society. I mean without people like him how would we know who the winners are.
Rave: Adam Graham and his insights that appear in this very paper. Graham's wit and humor is appreciated in this camp. He just might be the second best columnist out of Rochester Adams High School.
Rant: Jim Rome is the worst journalist I have ever witnessed. Remember when he was a bad a-- and fought Jim Everett. At this point in his career he has sold out and now kisses more butts that Ahmad Rashad.
Rave: The NFL draft is on Saturday. This begins another season for the greatest sport ever.
Rants: The WNBA's season is just around the corner. Great, more inferior basketball shoved down our throats.
