Moving back with mom and dad


Graduating from college means big changes.

For some it means a real job with an annual salary, health benefits, independence and a departure from a carefree collegiate life.

Unless you are one of the students who has to move home to mom and dad.

For students trying to find jobs in Michigan, which has the highest unemployment rate in the nation, the search can be fruitless.

Sean Berendt graduated from Central Michigan University in May 2008 with a degree in entrepreneurship and a minor in marketing. Upon graduating, Berendt did not have a job lined up, so the best option was moving home.

After finding a job in the Detroit area, and getting his first substantial paycheck, Berendt decided to remain at home and save money.

"Initial projections, and the most realistic, was that I would stay home for a year," Berendt said. "I would take that year to look around at apartments, get my ducks in a row and make sure that this job I had gotten was secure."

While Berendt is not alone, psychology professor Roger Van Horn said it is unusual in Western culture for college graduates to move home.

"In our culture, we have this very strong motivation as parents to give kids a lot of independence," Van Horn said. "We think the appropriate thing to do is to make them independent and get them on their own two feet."

Van Horn also said graduates could have a difficult transition from the independent world of college to the more sheltered walls of mom and dad's.

"It's a very awkward situation. You don't want to be the kid, and they don't want you to be the kid," he said. "I would say it's quite a challenge in our culture."

Berendt said the move has had its challenges, but not many surprises.

Overall, Berendt said the move home was what he expected.

While living at home is not permanent, Berendt said, it was a good way to save some money and get his career and future off to a solid start.

Currently, he is looking in the downtown Detroit and Royal Oak areas for apartments, and hopes to move out on his own in July.

Berendt said his parents have respected his space, which Van Horn said contributes to a successful transition for graduates back home.

"It's most important, in any kind of human relationship, that we sit down with each other and talk about what our expectations are," he said. "Most of the time when we get into difficult situations with people, it's because we don't understand what each others' expectations are."

Van Horn encourages any graduate moving home to communicate with mom and dad to set boundaries and create an understanding.

"If people can just verbalize what their expectations are, that avoids lots and lots of problems," he said.

features@cm-life.com

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