Eating disorder hits home for former CMU student; Sunday marked start to awareness week
She stood 5 feet, 8 inches tall — but, at just 58 pounds last September, the 27-year-old’s health was in danger.
Sara, a former Central Michigan University student, knew she needed change.
“I knew the numbers, but I physically could not see it,” said Sara, who did not want to provide her last name for privacy reasons. “I can see a blob, when everyone else sees a stick. It’s like a fun house mirror.”
Sara is not alone in her struggle. One in five women battle an eating disorder at some point during their lifetime.
That struggle will come to light over the next few days with National Eating Disorders Awareness Week, which began Sunday.
Eating disorders affect up to 24 million Americans each year, according to The Alliance for Eating Disorders Awareness. Eating disorders, such as anorexia nervosa, are more common in high school and college-aged women, said Roschelle Heuberger, associate professor of Human Environmental Studies.
“I think that a lot of kids are overweight and, when they get to high school and college, they realize that it’s not attractive,” Heuberger said.
There is an increased pressure to look good, she said, especially during high school and college,
Sara’s story
Sara, a Mount Pleasant resident, has been at a medical center in Kansas City, Mo., since just before Christmas. Though she now weighs close to 100 pounds, the journey to recovery has been long and arduous.
“It’s definitely been a process I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy,” she said.
When Sara was 12 years old, her grandfather, who she was close to, died. Sara said she began to feel worthless.
That was when thoughts provoking her eating disorder began to creep into her mind. At age 15, she started to act on them.
“I just started not eating so much,” Sara said. “I remember looking down one day and saying I’m fat. “It took me and it ran with me.”
At age 17, Sara was in the hospital for about a month because of the disorder. From age 17 to 21, Sara’s parents kept her healthy and made sure she was eating properly.
Sara got married at age 21 on June 14, 2003. That is when things started to get bad again.
“When we got married, I was like a fish out of water,” she said. “I could do whatever I wanted to do.”
Getting help
Sara encourages people who notice loved ones dealing with eating issues to talk to them before accusing.
Lisa Donahue-Smith, a licensed professional counselor for CMU’s Counseling Center, said it is best to not focus on friends’ habits, but how they are being affected.
“Talk about what you notice and your concerns,” she said. “Try and offer a path to help.”
If that does not work, tell them others also are affected, she said.
Donahue-Smith invites students struggling with body image or different stages of eating issues to visit the Counseling Center. Services are free and confidential to students. Employees can be reached at 774-3381.
Donahue-Smith stresses the struggle with body image is one that can be overcome.
Sara knows she is not to that point yet, but she has learned a few important lessons.
“I am who I am. You can’t change some things,” she said. “It’s not who you are on the outside, but who you are on the inside that you need to value.
“And that’s really hard. I’m not there yet.”
‘I still have hope’
By the middle of August, three months after she got married, Sara had lost 20 pounds.
Shortly after, she became pregnant. She told herself she had to start taking better care of herself, but she was not gaining weight.
Sara weighed 108 pounds when her daughter was born, completely developed.
“It was a blessing from God, and I know that,” Sara said.
But Sara was still losing weight and in and out of hospitals.
“An eating disorder is not a choice. It’s a disease,” she said. “I missed (my daughter’s) first tooth. I missed a lot of her firsts.”
In 2009, Sara checked herself into the hospital, and that is when the whirlwind began, she said. In August 2009, she weighed 65 pounds.
She had begun taking laxatives.
“Even if it was a piece of lettuce,” Sara said. “I was taking four or five (pills) a couple times a day.”
One night, Sara walked into her 5-year-old daughter’s room and realized she might not get to watch her grow up. Sara wanted to make a serious change.
Sara should weigh about 140 pounds, she said, and is slowly making her way back to a healthy body. Since entering the treatment center in Kansas City, she has gained about 40 pounds.
She hopes to be home by her 28th birthday in March.
“I still have hope,” Sara said.
