COLUMN: Cool it on the acronym
Folks, this has to stop.
The acronym is becoming detrimental to my life in the LGBT community.
That’s right, I said it — LGBT with nothing else added. I like my LGBT simple, like my coffee, not all fancied up like a Starbucks Frappuccino.
LGBTQWXYZ, or whatever the next letter, has gotten out of control. As a gay man, I swear if I see this acronym change again I am through with it all. I’m done. It is time to revoke my gay membership. I'm fed up with a community of prima donnas.
This is way out of hand.
If I understand it right, the Q that has been recently added represents the words "Queer" or "Questioning." Let me break this down in two parts so I don’t lose all my girlfriends out there sipping mimosas. Starting with the word "Queer" — does anyone else out there realize this makes no sense? Gay and lesbian to me already means I’m queer. LGBTQ has my panties in a bunch and I will not stand for it anymore. I just hate bunched panties.
Good lord, it is embarrassing to have an ever-changing acronym in this community, especially the “questioning” part. If someone is questioning, then he or she is in college, or had too many beers last night and wanted to get some action. When did one-nighters become so complicated? Honey, the last person who ‘questioned’ when I was around knew within the hour what they wanted and they left screaming "Hallelujah!" … that’s right, Tyrone, I’m dishing business, boyfriend.
Please, I’m begging the community to stop. Adding to the acronym is a waste of words and energy, which I could be using on my next afternoon brunch.
This has me hopping mad. Almost as mad as I was when I found out Milli Vanilli was lip-syncing songs. "Girl you know it's true."
Nothing gets this old girl going like this issue. I’m telling you I don’t know why we just didn’t call ourselves "Rainbows" — the LGBT flag displays it all. To me, the flag is a spectrum of people who love acronyms, shrubberies and cupcake shops.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I love the community. I just hate the idea that we need a label like we are some kind of explorer on a safari discovering a new species of gay.
Keep it simple, end the label. Let’s be happy as the queers we are. Good lord, we need more time to plan the next fabulous function anyway.
