COLUMN: 'I am not my hair'
I am of mixed heritage.
My father is white and my mother is black. The texture of my hair comes from my mother’s side of the gene pool. My hair is not naturally straight; in fact it is extremely curly and big.
When I was younger, wearing my hair in its natural state was not an option. I would have been teased if my hair did not match the chemically or heat-straightened hair of my peers. Over the years, I have struggled with the battle of my hair.
My entire life I've felt prettier with my hair straightened. I had mixed feelings about my mixed hair. Part of me wanted to embrace my cultural conscience by continuing to wear my hair in its natural state while the other half felt like a supermodel with straightened hair.
I know it may seem like I am making a big deal out of something as simple as hair, but it is a cultural thing. Black women spend millions on hair products — it is a must to have your hair "done."
Initially as I got older, when I would look in the mirror and see a mixture of curls, naps and frizz, I was not disappointed with my hair. I would often hear Lion King references in response.
It is ironic the way some black reject their natural state and disapprove of those who are comfortable with their naps. It stems from a desire to have “good hair,” which appears straighter than most or even curly such as people of Hispanic decent without the mixture of pouf, naps and curls.
Eventually all of the negative comments made me feel ashamed. They also made me run to my ceramic flatirons. As a result of all the negative feedback mixed with my own personal insecurities I allowed myself to feel less beautiful.
Things changed when I moved to Mount Pleasant — people loved my natural hair. After all the compliments, I felt wonderful, but I was still missing my inner self-esteem.
While I prefer my hair straight, I have learned to embrace my curls because it sets me apart.
Whatever the reason, the opinions of others should have no effect when it comes to loving oneself. I have struggled with self-esteem issues for years and I am not sure where it came from, but it is fading rapidly. Whether curly, frizzy, nappy or straight, I am beautiful and I need no other input.
