COLUMN: Living an authentic life
Living an authentic life is sometimes embarrassing and messy.
I want to be authentic in my entire life. However, it’s tough and troubling.
To be honest with myself, I have to ask questions about my behavior, about who I am as a person and what I believe defines me.
One thing I’m good at is telling it like I see it. Recently, I went through a breakup. I was crying like an infant child.
This emotional mess played out a bit on Facebook. My friend, Pat, told me that is part of my authenticity and what she loves about me.
Whenever I’m dealing with something tough in my life I let it all out, she said. I let the world see me transparently and vulnerably with nothing to hide. She said she loves the authenticity in my faith and my ability to stand up and own what I am dealing with.
It is almost never pretty. Most times my shadows are dark and hard to accept.
One question I constantly deal with, especially when professing my faith, is can a gay man be a Christian too? I know the passages in the Bible that say, no way, especially the passages that call me an abomination to God.
I have done all I could do to reconcile this one difference in my life and faith.
I see my faith as being between God and me.
I will not walk away from Christianity just because I have the desire to get my groove on with some dude. It is the only solid foundation in my life.
I will not hide how I feel to be accepted by the church. I have hidden so many times in my past and hiding destroyed me. Hiding led to drugs, parties and self-destructive behavior. I will not go back when I have come so far.
I started this tough journey in 2004. I was watching TV, and God got my attention and my life changed from that day forward.
I know the experience I had and it was of God. I know for a fact that Jesus Christ is part of my life.
So, I will not hide the fact I trust Christ as my Lord and savior and I will not hide that I am gay, too.
My authenticity starts with my honesty. Being honest allows me to realize I don’t have answers to this revelation. I cannot debate, defend or deny this position.
All I can offer is my story that is still being told today. It is a story that relies on forgiveness, mercy, love, grace and the resurrection of Jesus Christ.
That’s how I try to live authentically.
