COLUMN: Everything is going to be alright
“Everything is going to be alright.”
The amount of times 2011 presented me with this phrase is a heartbreak in itself.
Although the past year emotionally drained me and is leaving me as no longer a "people person", I can’t say I completely regret the personal choices I’ve made.
A good friend of mine calls them “soul choices.” You don’t know where exactly these choices will lead you, but in the end you’ll be a little bit stronger, and if lucky enough, wiser.
With a friend like that to remind me “it was just a soul choice” and my girl Beyonce playing on repeat, I have life all figured out, right?
Wrong. So wrong.
Life will never be figured out. As soon as everything seems okay, prepare for it not to be. As soon as you’re content with your life, someone will be knocking on your door patiently waiting to make it a living hell.
It’s a vicious cycle that can’t be controlled. Similar to the way the actions of others can’t be. But what can be monitored are the actions you take.
It took 19 years for me to concretely realize I can’t change what people think, do or say; something not learned by sitting in a classroom or studied in a book.
Life is the real lesson we’re learning in college. If I haven't made the decisions I have in the past year, I would still be the weak and innocent girl who walked the halls of Sweeney freshman year.
But, now I know: dump the people who don’t care enough to know what they have when they have you, don’t give people second chances who are not worthy of them and delete the people who have already deleted you.
Maybe holding onto the belief that all is well in the world and no harm can be done was from being sheltered by a life of familiarity.
Or it’s because I've expected more from the people that I was willing to do anything for.
And that’s the problem with life: we expect.
As soon as an outcome is predicted, failure is being set up. Life will never be what it is pictured as.
So forget the people who call you crazy, you don’t need them. Say what you want, if it’s truly how you feel. Stand up for yourself, when no one else will. Bargain for what may be better. Reap the benefits and learn from the failures.
But most importantly, find the people who are going to be there for you when the first, second and third soul choice doesn’t work out.
They’re the one choice that really matters.
