ADVICE COLUMN: New to the dating field, how to say 'no' to anal sex
“I am new to the dating field but I want to start meeting new people and dating. I'm hoping to find someone at CMU, but don't know where to start. Do you have any advice where I could go on campus to meet new people?”
The best way to start dating is by having an open mind, which it sounds like you have already. The great thing is you can meet someone anytime, anywhere. Get the word out there to friends and family that you’re open to dating right now, because the more people that know, the better. They might start thinking of people you can be set up with.
Even if sparks don’t fly with someone, hopefully you can manage to stay friends with them.
Get involved with a registered student organization on campus or a co-ed intramural sport. I know many couples have met this way because it’s an activity with people where you share the same interest.
Also, just get yourself out of the house. Study at a park or coffee house; sometimes you’ll start to see the same faces and sooner or later you will be starting up a conversation with them.
Keep yourself open to trying new things and going new places; explore Mount Pleasant. The biggest thing to keep in mind is that when you stop looking for someone, you tend to meet them.
“What do I do if my boyfriend wants to try anal sex and I don’t?”
This is when honest communication is imperative. Be straightforward. Whenever I start to date someone, I tell them before they ask: “There are two things I won’t try in bed; threesomes and butt sex, so don’t even ask.” This way they know I mean business and leave me alone.
If you really are closed off to the idea, don’t be wishy-washy and say, “Well, maybe someday.”
Just tell him, “I’m not interested in trying that and never will be. I don’t think it’s sexy, can we try something else?” Suggest a new position that you haven’t tried instead.
I don’t know the fascination men have with anal sex, but it certainly seems like a selfish one. Yes, some women like it, but I don’t know how they confused some women with all women.
He should respect your feelings. Just know that a good partner will never make you do something you don’t want to do or that you’re uncomfortable doing.
