ADVICE COLUMN: What to do if you have become the other woman
“I’m interested in a guy I have a class with, and I think he’s into me as well, but I don’t know whether or not I should pursue the relationship. Because if it does not work, I will have to see him in class a few times a week.”
Since the feeling between you two is mutual, go for it. Yes, maybe you two go out and then he spends the date talking about "World of Warcraft" and picks his teeth; so what?
Everyone has bad dates, and it may get uncomfortable to have to face him in class, but that’s the risk you have to take. What if you go out and it’s great, and the relationship turns into something wonderful?
It’s those relationships that are worth the possibility of a bad date. Sometimes when you go out with a guy and there isn't chemistry, he can still be a good friend.
If the date goes badly, class with him will only be weird if you guys make it that way — show up, be polite and friendly. You don’t have to be best friends, but there’s no reason to feel uncomfortable.
Uncomfortable dates happen to everyone all the time. But good dates that cause butterflies do not.
"What do I do if I could be considered the 'other woman?' I knew this guy before he got into his new relationship, and now I've met his new girlfriend and she seems nice. We tried not to sleep together but did one drunken night. Because we have a large group of mutual friends, I don't know how to end it, and he has said he's unhappy in their relationship. What do I do?"
Now that you've met her and she seems nice, and you're able to make that assessment for yourself, this guys sounds more like a piece of crap to me.
Up until the point of you meeting her, you only knew what he told you about their relationship; so take everything he says with a grain of salt.
Guys have a tendency to describe girls as “crazy” and we need to stop letting them get away with that. Yes, there are some crazy women out there, but the majority of the time, women are simply reacting to bad treatment from men. So in order to write off their bad behavior, men call some women “crazy,” or describe their relationships as negative.
If he is unhappy, he should break up with this girl before he even considers jumping into anything with you. It isn’t fair to his current girlfriend or you at all.
So if he finally decides to leave this girl and be with you, then what? Now you’ve started a relationship on the wrong foot. If he did this to one girl, why wouldn’t he treat you the same as well?
This guy sounds like a selfish jerk who is only in an unhappy relationship because he’s too lazy to deal with a breakup. Why would you want to be with someone like that? Be polite and friendly to him around your mutual friends, but try not to get alone with him. Find someone that is able to give you the full attention you deserve and not just consider you some drunken hookup.
For advice, email me at spenc1jc@cmich.edu or submit a question anonymously to my formspring account, http://formspring.me/JordanCSpence.
