What to say and what not to say to someone who has an invisible illness
Dealing with an illness that may not show outward signs of being sick can be frustrating. What can be even more frustrating for these individuals is when other people don't understand how much pain that person could be in. Here's what not to say to a person with an invisible illness.
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“You don’t look sick!”
Invisible illnesses are so called because they do not manifest physical symptoms. This does not mean that the person is not in pain or not suffering. Saying they don’t look sick can be very offensive, as it completely invalidates what he or she may be feeling.
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“It’s all in your head.”
Just because you can’t tell what they’re feeling on a day-to-day basis does not mean they are making it up or just trying to get attention. Individuals with invisible illnesses would much rather not have to deal with these symptoms on a daily basis. They certainly would never choose to spend their lives feeling as they do.
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“Can’t you just… snap out of it?”
This is like asking someone with a broken leg to just walk it off. They can’t “snap out of” an invisible illness like diabetes or depression any more than you could “snap out of” a cold or a bout of the flu.
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“Well, maybe if you didn’t do…”
Never blame someone for their illness. Would you cast blame onto someone with the flu? Exactly! Again, no one chooses to live with an invisible illness. They need your support and empathy, not blame and doubt.
Not everything is taboo with an invisible illness. Here's what you can and should say when encountering someone with an invisible illness.
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“I believe you.”
This is an extremely important sentiment to express to someone suffering from an invisible illness. Often, someone with an ilness face doubt and suspicion when explaining, so knowing that someone believes their story, even without understanding, can really make a difference.
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“How can I help?”
It’s hard to do anything in life on your own, but when you have an invisible illness, especially one such as depression or anxiety, it can be very difficult to ask for help from others. Having someone offer their assistance without having to request it can be one of the most relieving feelings in the world.
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“I’ll try my best to understand.”
Empathy is one of the greatest things you can show someone with an invisible illness. Though you may not understand everything they’re going through, trying to keep an open mind and simply listening to them can really have a positive impact on both parties.
And most importantly:
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“I’m here for you.”
The single most important thing you can say to anyone, especially those who may be suffering from invisible illnesses. Everyone wants to know that someone in the world is there for them unequivocally. Being there, supporting them, understanding, and helping them is so important, and can really go a long way to help them feel better in the long run. Everybody needs somebody to trust.
