Always yearning for more
My best friend once told me during a minor panic attack that I was having about never being able to have a boyfriend that I wouldn’t cheat on. That when you find that boy that you truly and passionately love — that she had miraculously found at the tender age of 15 — cheating never really crosses your mind.
That once wise advice was sooner or later shot down.
Why is this? Why is it that we are never fully satisfied? No matter how content we seem with our relationship on the outside, we are always yearning for more. Is it more love that we want? More risk?
More arguments? Or just more of that feeling that the first year always embraces in youthful relationships?
I thought it was only me. I thought I would always remain the unfaithful twit that boys hated to fall for. When in reality, we all are constantly thinking this in the back of our minds.
Don’t get me wrong, I want nothing more than to find the perfectly handsome love of my life someday outside of a quaint coffee shop on the streets of, say, Chicago, helping me get into a taxi on my way to my picturesque office overlooking the beautiful city… But as we all know, this is just enchanted pish-posh that will only happen to a very few of us; cheaters definitely not included.
I do not want to sound like a pessimistic and unhappy single girl who is constantly judging myself and others, or one of those dark, narcissistic writers who always thinks they are correct. I am just a hopeful girl that wishes someday her best friend will be right.
I look at other couples that seem to be so content in their world of sweet banter and inside jokes that they do not even realize what they are smiling about in a place of complete and utter bliss.
But do these ideas of love perfection ever have a faulting moment in which either one of them wants to jump in bed with the woman in the front of him in line as he is getting the household groceries or a man driving by with his ripped shirt and dirty, yet perfectly placed hair on one of the fastest motorcycles you have ever seen.
And if these feelings are actually felt, is this okay since both partners are feeling the same way? And as we know, it is completely different to feel them than opposed to actually take the action in performing them.
Perhaps someday, I will get the opportunity to meet this couple who can candidly tell me that they have never wanted anything more than to spend the rest of their lives flawlessly happy with a certain person, but until then, I will go to sleep tonight knowing that I am not the only girl who has had many second, and a bit dirty, if I may add, thoughts.
