Ageless Love: With V-Day coming, Isabella Senior Center couples share their wisdom
It is not easy to sustain a relationship.
The process is one of give and take, lessons learned and joys shared.
Several local couples offered advice on what it takes to make a relationship last over lunch Thursday at the Isabella Senior Center, 2200 S. Lincoln Rd.
For them, this Valentine’s Day will be a time of celebration. But just what does it take to turn one commitment into years of experiences?
Norm and Noni Onstott of Mount Pleasant have been married 53 years and said the two keys to a successful relationship are compromise and making sure you have found the right person.
“If you think you’re sure, make double sure,” Norm said. “So many people get divorced these days and, when you have kids that, gets really messy.”
And once you’ve found the right person, it takes a little give and take to work through disagreements, Noni said.
“Try to remember that both of you have faults,” Noni said.
Wait to marry
The two married when Norm was 19 and Noni 22. Norm said he worked the morning shift at a carburetor factory and she worked nights.
He made his boss switch him to her shift just so he could work with her. But he said even after changing shifts, he was still too scared to ask her out.
“He stood there looking at me for I don’t know how long, and then sent someone else to ask my name,” she said.
When Norm finally got the nerve to meet her at a skating rink with some friends, they hit it off. After dating for a year, they were married.
Noni said marrying young was not a problem for them, but times have changed and she would only recommend it to someone who does not have any long-term education or career plans.
Because of the effort involved in starting a family, she said, it may be best to wait until you have achieved reasonable stability in a desired career.
Other ideas
Earl and Elaine Currie married young and have remained together for 43 years. At the time of the ceremony, he was 20 years of age, and she, just 17.
“I would never advise anyone that young to get married,” Elaine said. “Wait until your mid-20s, when you’ve gotten through school.”
The two agreed with Norm and Noni that the best way to make a relationship work is to help each other and work through problems.
They also believe it is important to recognize each other’s differences and embrace them. One of the Curries’ major differences is that Earl is a morning person and Elaine is not.
“He humors me,” Elaine said. “He brings me my tea and leaves me alone (in the morning).”
Lake Isabella residents Bob and Karen Karcher are 50-year veterans of marriage and have similar advice.
“Certainly learn to give and take,” Bob said. “It’s not all one way.”
The two emphasized the importance of doing things together and enjoying the other person’s company.
One way the Karchers have been doing that recently is by dancing at the senior center. Karen said they just started about five weeks ago and plan to continue going to the dance sessions every week.
Bob and Bev Tenny of Mount Pleasant have been married 57 years. But for Bev, her husband is more than just a life-long partner.
“He was my best friend and he still is,” Bev said. “You have to treat him like a friend.”
